[Book] #25. Stoner by John Williams - When Doing Your Best Isn't Enough.

bree1042 (68)in #books • 6 years ago

이 글은 "스토너"를 읽고 영어로 쓴 독후감입니다. 우리말로 된 독후감은 아래 링크에 있습니다. 같은 내용이니 영어 독후감은 또 읽지 않으셔도 됩니다.

[독후감] #31. 스토너 by 존 윌리엄스 - 열심히 살았는데, 그걸로는 충분하지 않은 걸까?

Title: Stoner
Author: John Williams
Other: Has become bestseller worldwide after 50 years since the book was published and 20 years since the author passed away.

So ordinary, So boring, So me

When I first heard the title, it didn't catch my attention nor evoke curiosity. I had no idea what Stoner might imply - what? Stoner? Seriously? - and gloomy-looking cover image didn't help, either. Then I heard about this book from a famous book Podcast in Korea "Red Bookstore". This is what they said in "Red Bookstore".

I think there are two kinds of people when it comes to reading this book.: people who can finish reading Stoner and people who can't. You might give up reading in the middle of it. But if you're able to finish this book till the end, it's impossible not to be impressed.
Oddly enough, it's very touching.

I finished reading it till the end. I totally agree with the two hosts of "Red Bookstore". It's impossible not to love this book if you finish reading it. Oddly enough, it's very touching.

The plot seems quite boring. Young man named Stoner, - yes, it was a person's name - who had spent his whole life in rural area, unexpectedly went to the recently built university because his parents wanted him to study Agriculture. If he studies agriculture, he'll become a much better farmer than the parents, they thought. Paying the tuition was not easy, but they did their best. Stoner, too, had to study and work at the same time to take care of his housing and living expenses.

Unlike his parents' wishes, however, he fell in love with English Literature, not Agriculture. He gave up on becoming a farmer and continued to study English Literature in graduate school. Later he finally became a professor in English Literature department. He got married, had a daughter, taught English Literature until he retired. And he died.

This book shows his life from the moment when he first went to the university to the moment he died. Nothing special, nothing extraordinary. Just seemingly boring life that could be anyone's. And that is exactly why it's so touching.

Source: Goodreads

When Doing Your Best Isn't Enough.

He's not extraordinary. He loved a woman and got married to her, but his marriage life had turns and twists. He had a daughter who was the apple of his eye, but he couldn't do anything when her life was getting ruined. He loved English Literature but his work was mediocre. He loved the teaching job but students and other professors hardly remembered him after he retired. Handful of books and papers he wrote would remain in the corner shelf of the library where nobody cares to look, collecting dust. He did his best to live and lead a happy life. But what could you do when doing your best isn't enough?

At times, he wondered. Is my life worth living?

Which life is worth living and which is not? A life that's successful in love and work? A life with fame that'll live long after he/she dies? How about a person nobody would remember after he/she dies, but still tries to live his/her best life? A person who perseveres without giving in to repeated failures in life? When Stoner asks himself these questions, readers also get to look back on their own lives. Is my life worth living? This ordinary, boring, and not-so-outstanding life?

Stoner is not a typical hero the way we expect the main character is supposed to be. He couldn't end his unhappy marriage, he didn't confront his wife to protect his daughter. Even when he was mistreated at the college, he just put his head low and endure all the unfairness.

Much as some of his behavior is disappointing, I know that he's doing his very best to live. And that if I were him, I couldn't have done any better than he. That's why it's so sad and touching at the same time. Because his struggling life could be anyone's. Because the people who lead extraordinary lives can only be found on the big white screen, reciting lines from script.

Source: Kyobobook
_{Korean edition of Stoner.}

I'm Still Rooting for Stoner. And for Myself.

When I think of Stoner's life, it breaks my heart. His life seems to be a tent with a sagging roof. You put this side up and that side gives in. You put a supporting pole on that side and suddenly this side crumples. But you just can't let the damn tent collapse altogether!

Even though he is sometimes overwhelmed by the vanity of his futile life, he refuses to be swept by it. He still tries to do his best living his life. And I could find myself in his lonely shadow.

If you want to look back on your life, or rather, if you want to get a warm hug and an encouraging pat on your back by a book, I'd like to recommend Stoner.

A Few Good Lines from the Book

“But don’t you know, Mr. Stoner?” Sloane asked. “Don’t you understand about yourself yet? you’re going to be a teacher.”
Suddenly Sloane seemed very distant, and the walls of the office receded. Stoner felt himself suspended in the wide air, and he heard his voice ask, “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” Sloane said softly.
“How can you tell? How can you be sure?”
“It’s love, Mr. Stoner,” Sloane said cheerfully. “You are in love. It’s as simple as that.”
It was as simple as that. (p. 20)

He found himself wondering if his life were worth the living; if it had ever been. It was a question, he suspected, that came to all men at one time or another. (p. 179)

He was forty-two years old, and he could see nothing before him that he wished to enjoy and little behind him that he cared to remember. (p. 181)

They talked late into the night, as if they were old friends. And Stoner came to realize that she was, as she had said, almost happy with her despair; she would live her days out quietly, drinking a little more, year by year, numbing herself against the nothingness her life had become. He was glad she had that, at least; he was grateful that she could drink. (p. 248)