RE: My Life's Journey - Life's "CARD" Game - Part 4 - My State Of Mind And A Nightmare Scenario
And again, ending on a cliffhanger and letting us wait for it. Common man, not cool! :D
Yeah, that was probably the worst decision you could have made for yourself but you already know that and I am happy you came to that realization. Bottling things inside is never the right choice, especially when those things are extreme like in this case because as strong the thing you are pushing down is, the stonger it kicks back. I am just glad that it all went ok. Sure, I am sorry and happy about your father but he is your father and I do not know the man. I am invested in this because of you and how it impacted you and your life so I am looking forward to reading the next part and getting the full story out of you. Much love honey, this has shaped you and influenced you more than you realize. I think you have a pretty good feeling about how it changed you and impacted you deeply but there is more to our subconscious than it meets the eye and I am sending you all the love and support in the world to be there for you and tell you that you are ALWAYS much stronger than you think and should ALWAYS be proud of yourself. 💚💚💚
I agree, probably was not a good idea for myself to block and shove it all down. I should off blocked them while I needed to make some tough decisions, but release after. Even though in theory it sounds great, but not an easy thing to do. And, you are right, the STRONGER it kicks back. But, for me, it started kicking 2 months after all was over. It just connected all at ones and not only from summer but from my entire life. I don't know how to explain it. My body went into "ALL OUT VIRUS CLEAN OUT". I will write a separate a post about it. But, I am sure cleanout was triggered by my meditation practice...
I think this summer was a tipping point to something special happening to me. Something which is hard to explain in words, but it has sure sparked a huge change in my life. I feel worse is behind me, but some days were just "crazy." All those emotions basically from my entire life hit me all at once... But, like you said you never know how strong you are until you are literally pushed to your breaking point. And this summer, and even now I went beyond it. :)
Thank you my amazing friend for such an amazing, coming from the heart comment. It takes a special kind of AMAZING person to write it. You are AWESOME HUMAN BEING and you should be proud of yourself as well. I truly appreciate your words of encouragement and wisdom. Sending you a big 2-meter tall hug and love. 💚💚 @zen-art