I can totally relate. This has been exactly me last week/over the weekend. I too woke up today and said fuck this shit, I'm getting back to feeling good, being productive and keep planting seeds for my dreams.

I suffer with anxiety often. I've found many way in which to manage it, but it certainly can take hold sometimes.

Thanks for sharing about "balance of chaos and order", it makes sense, and I know this, but I forget to ask myself or identify what it is that I need at the time.