Tips For Surviving a Kewl-Aid Party: Number 1. Don't Drink the Kewl-Aid!

in blog •  3 months ago

Went to a kewl-aid party and saw some friends, both old and new.

Lots of them were imbibing in the sweet kewl-aid concoction, but since I had brought my own beverage, I politely declined their numerous offers asking me if I'd like to try a cup.

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There were plenty of other reasons I wouldn't drink their kewl-aid, but I wasn't going to bring it up, out of politeness.

To mention the reasons that I wouldn't drink the kewl-aid would be like going to a keg party and telling everyone that the free beer was making them fat, or that they would suffer terrible hangovers if they drank too much of it. Seeing my concern as an attack on their way of life, they would close their ears, and my words would only cause the drinkers to become rebellious. Loyal to the cause of the keg party, many party-goers would laugh at me, and would immediately guzzle even more beer in blatant defiance of the warnings.

I didn't want to be that guy.

Man, some of these people were zipping out of their minds on that kewl-aid stuff though! With a religious glaze over their eyes, they not only were seething with the kewl-aid in their own bellies, but they even insisted with a foreboding and glaring intensity that anyone who didn't drink the mixture was to be condemned. Hostile, they recited the dialogue that would be used against anyone who questioned the practice of drinking the sacred kewl-aid every day.

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Again, they offered me a cup, and my 'no' shaking head triggered a few of the more religious kewl-aid fans into explaining to me how I was wrong to deny the beverage. With great curiosity, I listened to the partiers justify their consumption of the mixture.

"It's FDA approved, and you know if a federally managed office full of officials like the Food and Drug Administration approves something, then it is safe to consume."

"Kewl-aid is often served to children in Public Schools, and these places of learning and education surely wouldn't give something to the children that could harm them."

"The treat has been around forever, and it's consumption is a cherished tradition for many well-educated families who work hard and obey the law, so anyone who questions the tradition of serving kewl-aid must hate these beloved traditions, and their questioning can then be seen as an attack upon the very foundations of society."

What a party it was! Some rambunctious scoundrel added some booze to the mix, and now the stuff was really flowing, but it wasn't pretty. It happens, though, that a little bit of alcohol can bring the truth out of the tightest lips, and soon, huddled in tight groups, the conversation was becoming hushed, the confessions were whispered, and the reality emerged-- though a little slurred.

Surrounded by the most deranged bunch of drunks imaginable, revelers who were zipped out on kewl-aid to boot, I heard an encouraging undertone all of a sudden. Nobody was really enjoying the kewl-aid party anymore.

Some felt like they were victims of the traditions that had been handed to them, but they hadn't dared to admit their feelings lest they upset their own families. Some felt that they had no choice but to drink the kewl-aid, for fear of ridicule and scorn from society.

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I was happy when somebody lit a joint and passed it to me, but it wasn't just because I wanted a hit, I was also happy as I remembered every other party I'd ever attended; when the weed starts getting lit and passed around, the truth is not only spilled out into the party, but is then contemplated and discussed in a more logical manner. Also, things tend to calm down some after the smoke takes effect on the crowd.

The little circle that the little joint started in became a big circle, and as the smoke filled the room, many decided that they'd had enough kewl-aid.

One brave soul spoke, a recovering kewl-aid user, and calmly asked the circle:

"Sure, kewl-aid is FDA approved, but isn't the Food and Drug Administration just an agency designed to protect and serve the giant pharmaceutical companies and kewl-aid industry, instead of protecting the actual users of those unhealthy products?"

"Of course kewl-aid is offered in the Public School Systems, but aren't those school systems designed as indoctrination camps for the children so that they learn how to serve the banking industry that owns the school houses, the Energy industries that sell the fuel for the school busses to lumber around town twice a day, and being the same companies that sell us all of the bows and ribbons which make the little ones think that they have been given a beautiful gift?"

"It's true, kewl-aid is part of our culture and tradition, but haven't we also turned war, conflict and violence into family traditions with our popular sports, pitting our children against each other in violent matches, and spurring them forward into battle with our patriotic chants and slogans?"

He went too far with that last one, I suppose, and while me and a good handful of others were nodding in agreement, I noticed that the rest turned away, muttering this and that. They left the circle, but stayed at the party, gradually easing their way back to the kewl-aid dispensers. Perhaps another time then?

It was late, and I said goodnight to my friends, old and new, and left the kewl-aid party feeling optimistic and refreshed. I should get out more often, I know, but there's only so much partying one can take before it takes a toll on the health. Still, I had a good time at the kewl-aid party the other night.

the writing above is satire, or some other type of comedy, and is not meant to resemble any person, business or societal control grid, and any similarities to anything real are sort of allegorical, intended as being educational, and are strictly for entertainment purposes only.

images above thanks to Wikimedia Commons

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The indoctrination's purpose is the survival of the "elites", which would not survive in an environment filled with really well educated, free of debt, strong people.


I'm not sure if I've ever heard that described so succinctly-- well said!

The give kids sugar. Sugary drinks and sugary foods (all FDA approved) and when the can't sit still and can't focus... then they give them Ritalin. (also FDA approved)

"Well, if you're going to play a garden party
I wish you a lot of luck,
but if memories where all i sang, I'd rather drive a truck..."


A pharmocracy, handy with a solution for every chemical reaction.

I did hear that song when I wrote that first line!

They sure do make the kewl aid seem appealing, the passion and smiles on the faces of drinkers always look like such fun under dim lights, but the zealous, manic quality can be seen if you look closely. They don't like you to look closely though, bad form.


Just takes a bit of Hollywood magic to make the stuff appear refreshing and normal! Thanks for adding to the sketch, and thanks as always for getting me and my little parables, or whatever these kinds of posts are called. :)


It's me who should be thanking you. At the time that I began on steemit, I was feeling like this world was a lonely place when you think outside of the box. Your appearance in my comment section was like having the clouds part and the sun beam down to assure me that however lonely it can be, we are not alone!