Discussions on difficult topics nightmare or skill. How to do it ? A little bit from me for you

The vision of quarrel or conflict works on some paralysis - we prefer submission, avoiding the topic, sweeping under the carpet, just to be quiet.

However, even on difficult topics you need to be able to talk. It is impossible to avoid conflict throughout life, and if you do that long enough, sooner or later you will react to a delayed ignition (you will break out of a reason for it after you've accumulated anger within a week).

I know it from my own autopsy. It's not worth to wait, you have to throw away what annoys you because then you accumulate too much, that you do not even know where to start. Sometimes accumulated regrets will push you away from your partner and eventually love burns out.

Discussing hard topics is not only necessary, but you can also learn. First of all, it is worthwhile to start with the position I (I feel, I think), avoid accusations, attacks and generalizations (like "you always"), stick to a specific matter (rather than remarks to hundreds of others), and talk about the behavior that we I do not like it, instead of criticizing the person. I went a long way to learn to react with a reasonable position was not easy. There are many things you can still happen to live, you can always surprise us, but a lot of mistakes I have eliminated.

Working on yourself makes beautiful changes in our relationship.