April 17, 2017

Idaho

The past couple of days I have been smoking alone for the first time. Because of the general harsh opinion of cannabis, I have to do it very secretively and hidden. I have been waiting until my parents are asleep (around 10:00PM) and going to the side of my house. There is then an area enclosed by fences and trash cans where I can sit down and puff on my bowl. It's a very small bowl, which is good because my tolerance is low. I only need a little bit to ease my jaw and help me sleep.

Cannabis has the quickest pain relief of any medicine I've tried. I usually take ibuprofen, but it can take an hour or two to kick in, and sometimes it doesn't even work, not to mention ibuprofen can damage my liver, kidney, and stomach lining. Cannabis works in almost 5 minutes (depending on method of consumption), and I'm ready for bed. Otherwise, I may toss and turn in my bed waiting for the pain to go away for hours. I am much more comfortable with the currently known cannabis side effects compared to prolonged ibuprofen usage.

Another thing I've noticed with nightime cannabis consumption is the amount of liquids I crave. Obviously this is something you would expect, with dry mouth being one of the more stereotypical symptoms. This isn't necessarily bad, but I do wake up in the morning with a more urgent need to urinate. I'll also munch on trail mix if I'm hungry. I'm afraid to go make food in case I wake up one of my parents and they realize I am high. With the amount I consume I don't think they would visibly be able to tell that I am high (my eyes aren't red or anything), but it is their house and I want to be as discreet as possible. It shouldn't affect them.

Speaking about how much I consume, it is a very little amount. My anarchist and longtime stoner friend (Alex) gave me a little pipe that has a lid for the bowl. This way I can pack a bowl in the daytime when I have time, close the lid on the bowl and save it for night time. It's a very small bowl, but it's a good size for me. Regarding actual amounts, I purchased about a gram for my personal stash and I'd say I am 66% through it. The past two nights I would say I have consumed about 11% each session (22% total) and then I had about 11% at a friend's house. I really don't need a lot to get the medicinal affects. For scale; a gram from my current dealer is $10. My current dealer lives in downtown Boise, which is quite a drive. I'm also not entirely comfortable going down there alone. Not because it's sketchy, it's actually a rather chill place, but I'm diagnosed with social anxiety and it's just a lot of stress. I may try buying off of Alphabay or another dark market, but I'm afraid that it may affect my parents.

I can definitely smoke more recreationally, but I try to keep my personal stash just for medicinal. This conserves it and helps it last much longer. Last night I ground it all up, so it will be harder to measure exactly how much I am smoking (that reminds me, I should get a digital scale), but I will just pack one bowl and be good.

I'm going to talk a little bit about my documentation process. Each new entry I make I will put the date and my current location, as I find the location quite pertinent to my cannabis experience. In 5 years this may change, with the entire USA being legal, but for now the location is important. My writing process is all in the moment, there isn't a lot of redrafting. Whatever thoughts I think are important will go into this document, and I will try to censor as little as possible. This may give the documentation a random, unplanned vibe to it. That shouldn't be surprising, with my ADHD. As of today, my whole documentary is being stored on an encrypted partition (AES-Twofish-Serpent, XTS encryption mode, using program DiskCryptor 1.1.846.118). Most likely overkill, but I'm paranoid.

I am considering uploading my documentation to a blogging platform, such as Steemit. However, if I do, I will not upload it all at once. I will space out the blogs between different entries, and I will wait a considerable amount of time between each post. This will help add to anonymity I think. I might even be able to monetize it. Obviously I will omit my name from the first entry. I think the alias I will use is 'Luther McGovern'. I didn't come up with that, some random name generator did.

In the mean time, I will continue adding to this. Once my first post reaches over a month old (on May 12), I will make the post to Steemit. Not only for awareness, but it will also help preserve my documentation. For time time being the only place this document is stored is on the partition I talked about. This means if my hard drive fails, I would lose all this documentation. I wouldn't want that, because I feel like it may help someone some day, or even just provide entertainment for my future self.

Going back to picking up off of Alphabay. I would be able to get a better deal, sometimes going down to almost $6/G of high quality flower, like black cherry cheese cake. I can also sort dealers by trust level (I'd go to 10) and utilize escrow and FE 100%. The downside being it has to be shipped to my parent's house, and I want to minimize the chance they could be affected as much as possible. Oh well, my current dealer delivers reliably, so it's not like I need to find an alternative anytime soon.

Whenever I add to this document while UTI I will include a [X] that numbers my high one through ten. Currently I'm about a [5], and wanted to add some things to this. I'm pretty high. Like this is about my limit until I'm giggly. I just watched a stoner on YouTube and ended up watching 'My Name is Human'. I love that video.

I wish I was in a situation where my usage didn't have to be hidden. I would love to openly post stoner videos and talk about weed on social media, but it could possibly incriminate me. That's a big part of why I'm documenting this, so I have somewhere to talk about it, without too much risk of what could come. I think I've sobered up to a [4], and I'm going to try to get some sleep. Or eat something. Probably both.