The curse of the perfectionist...and procrastination...

'Perfect' doesn't exist.

Let's be very clear about that. It's only 'degree's of'...

It is an abstract concept instilled within the psyche to ensure a dissatisfaction of everything you do, with it's good friend procrastination, always egging on the ego in an endless pursuit of a fake reality called perfectionism.
'I can't do that, until I do that,because that's not how I want it,...So I won't do either', kind of thing.

But here's the rub...

... it's not a curse in the slightest, it's a choice. It might not feel like it, but that doesn't change the fact.

If 'perfect' doesn't exist, then it's not real.
To make it real within yourself is choice of constructing a reality from non reality..
Many people do not realize that it's not a choice, of course - and do not realize that it's an unconscious thought process to find a guaranteed way to make their own lives miserable, by being addicted to perfection.
Addicted to disappointment.

The question that needs to be asked is 'why'?, yes? Why am I a perfectionist? (isn't that alway's the question?)

Actually that's not the right question at all -as always.

The correct question is 'why does disappointment make me happy?'

Answer that one, and you have something to work with...Something to evict from your mindset.
Asking yourself 'why' you insist on being a perfectionist is the mind playing it's sneaky games with you - to ensure you never actually get to the root of the issue.

Being happy with doing the best you can be, is a healthy outlook.

Perfectionism or bust - is not.

While this can look like the same thing, it is not - it is a world apart from perfectionism...

Unless this demon is exorcised, will you be forever disappointed with your endeavors whatever they are, and you will always find the excuse to quit.
Not only that, but will find yourself living in forever decreasing circles.
Perfectionism is about 'control'. (or lack of, rather)
The smaller the world you inhabit, the easier the perceived control.

Accepting that perfection doesn't exist, is accepting you are not in control.
Come to terms with it, and relax...

Once you've recognized this psychological barrier exists, forget the deeper issues into the ' why's'.
These are inner adventures to be explored at some time in the future.. or not as the case may be.

It depends if you are fixing your issues to get on with your life in the now , or wallowing in the past... Procrastinating?
(Just a personal perspective).

Being happy in disappointment may be a deep seated memory from childhood.
If you were disappointed at some time in your childhood – but was happy at the time – this can easily become the underlying paradigm that you are forever trying to replicate.

Making it such, that to feel happiness- you may need to feel disappointed at the same time.. The association is invisibly bound within your sub- conscious.

Being a perfectionist is a well tried successful strategy to achieve just this state of constant disappointment.

I don't have this particular dynamic within myself, but I do have childhood memories – and my own unconscious connections that I continued to attempt replicate within my adult life.
The invisible connections between an emotional state of the past, and the drives trying to recreate the same reality to achieve that same emotional state...
Of course, the very fact I'm telling you about it now, shows it it no longer an invisible connection – but it serves as an example of what I mean vis-a-vis the 'perfectionism con'.

My happiest times as a young 'un', was when my family was in severe financial crisis. At that time -I was looked to, to help....
I felt very happy in this crisis, feeling valued. (not an emotion I felt that much growing up, and yet another demon I had to exorcise - the need to please others..).

In adult life, this has expressed itself in such a way that I create circumstances to be difficult for myself. I am happy in the crisis..
Which is bloody annoying. Shooting myself in the foot became my second favorite pastime..
Paradoxically, succeeding at things, was my first favorite pastime..(the flip side to my 'childhood crisis' time).

After some deep introspection...and using actions - not words- as my 'barometer of truth' - I identified the mechanism within myself.
It then had less and less and less of a hold over me- and as a result I am now happier – and I have stopped self constructing difficulties. (it is still there, but I see it. Pesky mind...).

Paradoxically, I have also become less and less orientated towards 'being successful,'...(but that is also still there).
It took me years to identify it.. (which is also bloody annoying), but now I can see the change within my own life - from identifying the once invisible emotional connection of the past and attempting to reconstruct it 'in the now'.

Exorcising your deep rooted personal demons pays dividends...BIG TIME.

...and you can also make some new unexpected friends along the way.. but that's another post entirely...