Swinging Vines in Vienna...A short story...part 2

Breakfast at Mamms hadn't turned out quite as he'd expected it to.....

It was a long way from how he'd expected it to go, in fact. Miles - light years in fact...

His self confidence was now shot.
He'd hadn't felt like this since the two boys at school insisted on washing his hair everyday in the toilet bowl...

It wasn't meant to turn out like this.
He'd thought his breakfast would probably be in bed with the beautiful Jane, the sexy girl that he'd met last night.
She'd been very friendly.
It was 'slam dunk', in his book.

....And then he'd entered Jane's Viennese apartment......

"I...I...I was only joking..." Trevor stammered...

"Sure you were, matey, " He said to him. " Sure you were..."

He passed Trevor a glass of water. He badly needed it, did the poor guy.
Beads of sweat trickled down his ashen face, his shock apparent.

"I don't have any bloody vines!," He said, "And I wouldn't even know where to buy any..." Total bewilderment in his voice.

"I...I...I..I don't normally drink alcohol. Ever." He went on to say, "Those two beers just went straight to my head, they did....and I met Jane just after that....I couldn't think straight. That cleavage...god, her eyes..." He trailed off, obviously reliving the moment from last night.

"Jane?" He replied, "Ah ....yes..Jane to your Tarzan. Her name's Mamms not Jane, by the way."
"Mamms?.... ah" Trevor said, the name itself keeping his thoughts firmly focused on her charms from last night...
Mamm's didn't say a word.

She'd zoned out, all her interest in Tarzan had now evaporated. No vines. No enthusiasm.

This wasn't a new experience for him (unlike for the poor Trevor).
This was a common occurrence when Mamm's went out on her own. People just didn't understand her enthusiasm for life. Her honesty was seen as game playing, and not honesty.
The poor fools.

He had known Mamm's a long time. A lifetime, it felt like. And it was all good in his book.

Mamms broke her silence at his point " So let's be very clear here...you have no vines... your names not Tarzan.... and you're scared of getting cold in the moonlight, is that what you're sayin',?"

"Er...er....well..er... yes... basically" Trevor stammered.
You could see that he was trying to stop himself from defecating out of fear. This heavenly cleavaged beauty from last night scared the shit out of him, in the cold light of day...

"That's really interesting," Mamm's said quietly. She was looking very philosophical and introspective...
"It does pose a question though, doesn't it?" Looking over at him, very calmly...

"It...it, does?" Said Trev.

He could feel that something was heading in his direction, but he didn't have a fucking clue what it was . He gulped, he was so out of his depth...

" Yeah, it really, really does," Said Mamm's, building the tension. She was very good at tension building.

The smell of farts wafted around the room.

They both looked at Trev.
And Trev said 'sorry' very meekly...

"Yeah.... it does, " Mamm's went onto say.
"It does beg the question, 'why the fuck are you here for breakfast, then?', if you didn't even bring any vines? You ain't ever eatin' from my table, mate."

Trev said nothing. More sweat trickled down his face. He felt lost...
The two beer courage and a nice cleavage, had faded into nothingness.

He just hoped that they weren't going to try and wash his fuckin' hair! He'd scream out loud if they tried that one!

Poor Trev was working out how to exit the building without walking - because He wasn't entirely sure that his legs wouldn't go from under him, if he tried to stand up.

"The doors that way," She said, pointing , losing all interest in talking to him any further.

Trevor farted again, and said sorry - again- and went to exit the apartment.

'Fuck, this is demeaning', Trev thought to himself, as he moved towards the door. ...

The use of his legs had totally escaped him, just as he'd suspected - but he had to get out of there somehow - even if it meant crawling...

As the door shut, the two friends looked at each other...
They both started laughing.

"I'm feeling horny," He said.

"Thank fuck for that," She said....