Misconstrued Marketing Research Group, asks.. Girls, which do you prefer to use on yourself?

in #bloglast year


Misconstrued Market research presents the recent findings into a fascinating - and a very little known, subject.

If you wish to participate in the survey, please read the report and then answer the simple questions at the bottom....


Most women DO have a preference for one or the other, and many do not, while some even use both(at the same time in many cases).

Menfolk, who are generally ignorant of such pleasure seeking activities, commissioned MMG group to conduct a worldwide survey, one that would dig deeper into this area of a girls' lives, that many of us simply have no idea about.


We interviewed over 7.4 million women, aged between 18 and 91 years, with the same 7 questions- and the answers were startling.

1/ Do you have a preference for using either a cucumber or banana, and if so, which one?
2/ How many times a week do you use your banana or cucumber?
3/ Have you ever used them with your girlfriends as part of a girls night in?
4/ Have you ever shared your banana or cucumber with your girlfriends?
5/ Have you ever gone into detail with your partner, about the way you use your banana or cucumber on yourself?
6/ Have you ever let him participate, or let him help you, with your banana or cucumber?
7/ Have you ever used both banana and cucumber together, at the same time, and if so, how?

1/ Do you have a preference for using a cucumber or a banana, and if so, which one?


53% of women interviewed, said they definitely had a preference for cucumber.
32 % unequivocally preferred banana.
13 % did not express a specific preference, and said they would use whatever was on hand at the time.
2% (All were aged between 76 and 91) Said they couldn't recall what a banana or cucumber, was.

2/ How many times a week do you use your banana or cucumber?

The average amount of times that either a cucumber or banana was used on themselves, varied greatly.(depending on age, and geographical location).
Under 30's were the most active group, using at least one of them, 5 times a week.
The 30 to 55 years old age group didn't use them quite as often, the average being only 2 times per week.
The main reason for the reduction of use seems to be down to family life and having children.

As Janine said " When you have a family and kids you just don't have the time to fit it in."
This was the most common reason, closely followed by 'I don't want my partner to watch me while I'm doing it'.


Woman in tropical areas rarely used banana, mostly preferring cucumber, and then on average, 3 times per week.

We asked why banana was not a first preference, and the most common reply - across all age groups - was that 'banana's are so common' (here) , it's just not exciting enough.'
Cucumbers use in tropical areas appears to provide somewhat of an 'exotic' appeal.


3/ Have you ever used them with your girlfriends as part of a 'girls night in'?

This was perhaps one of the most startling results that we found.
Over 85% of girls interviewed, said they HAD used them with their girlfriends, as part of a girls night in. (Banana, cucumber, or both).
Shyness about using them whilst in the presence of their peers, seems to present no feeling of self consciousness, and when compared to the awkwardness of using them in front of their life partners, it raises up some very interesting sociological issues.


4/ Have you ever shared your banana or cucumber with your girlfriends?

Not surprisingly almost 96 % said they HAD shared their cucumber or banana with their closest female friends at some point.
30% saying that they shared their cucumber with their girlfriends at least once a week.

Interestingly, only 15% of women interviewed said they were happy sharing their banana. The reason for this is not clear, and requires further investigation.

Women that used both banana and cucumber on a regular basis, said they actively enjoyed sharing, and swapping, with their girlfriends.
Worries about any hygiene issues was only mentioned by 9% of the women questioned.

5/ Have you ever gone into detail with your partner, about the way you use your banana or cucumber?

Overwhelmingly, (79%) of women questioned said they had never gone into detail with their partners, and their use of either banana or cucumber.
The number one reason for this, was embarrassment, closely followed by 'not wanting to bore him'.
Surprising results, indeed.


6/ Have you ever let your partner participate, or let him help you, with your banana or cucumber?

Of the respondents who admitted that they DO let their partner participate, and help them with, 80% said they felt positive about their other half's involvement.


Sarah, 36 said " Since I introduced Dave (Sarah's husband) to my cucumber use, it's brought us much closer together. We are much more intimate now because of it.
Dave has even started using them on himself, nowadays - which I enjoy being part of, but he much prefers the banana to the cucumber. I'm a cucumber woman myself."


7/ Have you ever used both banana and cucumber together at the same time, and if so, how?

Again we were surprised by the results of this question, with over 50% of women interviewed admitting to using both at the same time.
The number one reason given, when asked why, was 'they feel different, depending on where you use them, so why not double your pleasure?'

Women who used them with their partners, almost always had both kinds readily available.

" It can be very tricky using them both together and getting in the right position without everything sliding everywhere." Emily said, "Having a partner to help you, or even a couple of girlfriends, can really make a massive difference to the whole experience."

Thanks for spending the time reading the results of the survey, and if you would wish to participate yourself, please answer these 5 simple questions below:
(women only)


1/ Have you have tried cucumber or banana in your beauty treatments, or in your bedroom?
2/ Do you have a preference for anything in particular in your beauty treatments, or your bedroom? (Please state your personal favorites, be as detailed as you wish)
3/ Have you ever involved your partner with giving you a facial?
4/ Have ever given facials to your girlfriends?
5/ Do you enjoy sharing everything with your girlfriends?

Please leave your name , email, and phone number.
All participants and results in this survey are 100% confidential.
Some applicants may receive a phone call to discuss their answers further. We will never call you before 11.pm, and normally much later, especially at weekends.



Hello @lucylin, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!

There is for sure a very close relationship between sex & food (and love). It's impossible to feel romantic or sexy if your tummy is grumbling. On the other hand, when you first meet someone and are completely infatuated, you lose your appetite (the works of phenylethylamine and norepinephrine). The human need for food & sex is basic, it's part of the foundation of our nature, which makes it sensible that they are so closely knit together. Still, I don't mix the two! :P

Please take your head out of the gutter, Senora!!!

The entire post was merely about face pack types and ingredients.

Why anyone would infer anything different is beyond me, and entirely on them.
I must have led a sheltered life or something....

I was writing a report on the statistics of differing beauty procedures around the world and their preferences... beauty ingredient preferences for facial washes, not sex!!!!

I must have a polluted mind then! 😏
My apologies kind sir.
It has been a most embarrassing misunderstanding 😆 :P

Man. That is so much information i never wanted to know existed.

and now that i know, i now know, that i really didn't want to know. Really!

We try our best...

I don't know how other people use bananas and cucumbers, but I eat cucumbers and am allergic to bananas. As for 'playtime' of the sensual nature, my husband and I keep all our energy for each other and have an amazing intimate relationship. There are reasons we choose to save ourselve for each other, mainly due to my CPTSD and trauma from sexual abuse. But over time, we've come to prefer this. It highly enhances our intimacy.

I have never used a cucumber for anything other than with humus! Except perhaps in salad. NO SALT. I like it better with no salt.

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I would highly recommend only using cucumber face packs then! and not banana ones