When I was a kid my best friend was named Johnny. Johnny was an absolute giant. The guy is almost 7 feet tall now. But he's not lanky he's built like a tank. I've seen him literally pick up a Coke machine. He doesn't even work out he's just genetically gifted.

We used to hang out when we were kids, climb trees, go to lakes and skip rocks, and do other boy stuff. One day we were up in a particularly Tall Tree feeling proud of ourselves for climbing it when Johnny screamed out f*** yeah. We were probably 30 feet off the ground.

Suddenly Johnny's dad, who was just as big as he was, was only a couple of feet below us. He had climbed the tree without even using any branches, grabbed Johnny and pulled him down in one hand.

Right then and there at the bottom of the tree he pulled down Johnny's pants and began spanking him hard on the buttocks. It was incredibly strange to watch from 30 feet up in the air.

Good times.