Blog: Is it worth waiting to get it right 🤔🔎

Didn’t feel the need the last months to post anything regarding my health, because there weren’t any updates and the search did continue. In the meantime, I’ve had some good and bad moments. These months I have seen enough E.R rooms and scanners etc. in the hospitals. All those times they couldn’t find anything, drugged me with morphine because they couldn’t get me out of a seizure. Can tell you that ain’t no fun at all… The BEST thing I did have after this was a few days out with my friends @dboontje and @smalltall to the Ardennes in Belgium. You can find their posts here: 1, 2, 3. Thanks for the trip guys! 🤙 I will create my own post about it later.

Source

One day after the small trip with my friends I got back at my general practioner. She said she didn’t know it anymore at that time. She thought about a next step to send me to a neurologist to find out if there was something wrong with my nerves that were triggering the weird symptom. First appointment was created for the end of June… Luckily my employee has an insurance to negotiate with different hospitals about creating an appointment way sooner than this. The result of this insurance was that I could have my appointment with the neurologist within a week.

Out with the boys

My luck didn’t end there! The neurologist wasn’t sure about my conditions, she couldn’t explain all my symptoms, so she decided to put me in the MRI. First appointment was for the end of June (again…), but luckily a neighbour hospital called me if I would love to join a test day with their just delivered MRI scan. So again, I was lucky! They were able to help me in a week. The neurologist could have the appointment for the MRI results also earlier.

My general practioner also did sent me to a Psychotherapist, with the idea of helping me getting comfortable with not being able to do some of my favourite things and help me thinking about alternative things and so on. I had my intake at the local mental institution, and boy there where some people there while I was waiting the first time. Won't tell anything about those experiences to keep things private for the people I've met in the waiting room but I do know now why there are such institutes. I did have two different intakes already. The first one was the psychotherapist listening to my story. First I had the idea the guy was a really good listener, and he did create a lot of notes. He said he needed to write a lot during this session to remind all the information he could get from me. He aslo told me he would sent out a "few" multiple choice questions that day. The questions where about; how I was feeling during this week, how i did live the last months and how I have been acting during my life uptil now. While thinking of a few questions I wasn't suspecting to good three seperate lists with 50 - 75 questions each😅

To bad I didn't get the list that day but I got it the night before I had the next meeting with the regional psychotherapist (he does the reporting to the health insurance). Can tell you no fun when you're tired and you need to fill in all those questions with answers you can't link to how you feel (I prefer open answers with these kind of questions I assume). I managed to fill in everything and now we got the best joke, the next morning I met the regional psychotherapist, and together we worked through th report the other guy created about me. Well it did turn out, I did hear a report about another person. Don't know who but it wasn't me for sure. So the regional guy started correcting everything, and there was a moment my energy was gone and I said you know what this is fine sent it to the insurance I'm actually done with it. Next week I got my third appointment. Curious to find out how this one works out!🤔

They did find something...

The luck did stop at the day I needed to return to the hospital fo the MRI results I think or not…🤔 Still not sure. What I do know is that I got out of the hospital way more pleased than I should be compared to the news they delivered. The neurologist told me that they did find something in my neck around my thyroid. But a sure thing; it doesn’t belong there! So new appointments made in the Hospital for blood tests, a new ultrasound but this time from my neck instead of my chest and an appointment at the end of July with a Internist

Some days off the radar

First days I felt actually quite relieved that there is finally something they could start to search for. Maybe it did help a bit that I had my first German wedding ever. My girlfriend and I were invited by friends to join their wedding and party along. Quite a trip for me current health state so my girlfriend did most of the driving (thanks for that!). We had some lovely days in Spreewald together and with our friends. The mother of the bride did advise us a lovely campground at a farm. Only place for tent pitching. Just the way I like it!

The wedding itself was lovely and although there was a moment during the wedding cake ceremony… I got all the attention instead of the couple cutting the cake. Indeed, I had again some sort of moment…🙈 But only had one during the day so wasn’t that bad. The couple didn’t mind thankfully! The next day my girlfriend and I went out for a walk during the day and we had a dinner with our just married friends. On Monday we drove back home. During the day my throat started to irritate a little bit. Thought it was because I was exhausted and because of sitting in the airco all day in the car. But Tuesday the feeling was still there… Still not painful but an uncomfortable feeling.

How fast can you run into panic?

But last Tuesday night I run into some sort of panic mode.😱 The nerves did win I think and Wednesday was more or less the same.. Totally not used to these kind of feelings and I can’t describe what kind of thoughts are running through your mind. Somehow these thoughts just won’t stop. But to stay positive there was also a brightside! I was so tired on Wednesday night that I slept 6 hours continuous and boy that has been a long time ago! And not to forget @dboontje messaged me how I was doing. So I told him and we had a phone call to cheer me up a bit. Another thank you for doing that!😘

Making things visible

Yesterday I went to the hospital for the ultrasound scan from my neck. The nerves were all gone today, and I was quite calm thankfully. The nurse came to pick me up after my registration at the radiology department reception. She brought me to the room where the doctor would create the scan. Everything was all very sufficient today wish it has been always like this. The doctor started the scan and noticed that the thyroid had a nodule inside. I asked if he did know this was something bad? He told me; I shouldn’t worry. Most people have them without knowing they are there. Probably when he would create a scan from himself, he would find one as well. There was also a small piece of chalk visible and he said that is most often the case when the nodule isn’t a so-called cyst.

Source: A scan from the thyroid folder from the hospital

He couldn’t tell me anything more than what he just told me. My internist would tell me the result from the blood tests and the scan. When I told him, I would discuss this with my Neurologist he said that this was a bit strange. But he would assume that she would discuss it with the internist. I do already know that I have an appointment with the internist at the end of July. But that was already planned directly after the MRI.

For now, the “long” wait starts till Tuesday next week... Crossing my fingers!🤞 (and trying not to Google things!)

Magically silent moments

PS. As you might have heard, I'm not 100% healthy at the moment. A reply at a comment can take a while. Sorry in advance for that... 😔

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