Translating Teacherese

It occurred to me that many parents are oblivious to the secret meaning behind a teacher's carefully chosen words about a student's behavior. To help understand what is really being said, here are some common sayings translated by someone with a degree in Teacherese.

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When a teacher says:
"Johnny was very enthusiastic today!"
What he/she means is:
The kid yelled out (wrong) answers before anyone else all day, even after repeated hand-raising reminders.

When a teacher says:
"Sally shows strong leadership skills."
What is meant is:
Sally consistently shoves, cries, and/or bullies her way to the front of the line.

When a teacher says:
"Johnny was a great friend today!"
What he/ she means is:
Johnny let the classmate with strong leadership skills have cuts in line without going all Fight Club.

When a teacher says:
"Sally shows a high level of self-esteem.
What he/she means is:
Sally thinks she is never wrong, even when logic and facts show that she is.

When a teacher says:
"Johnny was very active!"
What he/she means is:
The little bugger didn't sit down ALL DAY and injured 2 or more classmates.

When a teacher says:
"Sally was a little active today."
It means:
The same as"very active" only with no visible injuries to classmates.

When a teacher says:
"Johnny had a little accident today."
What is really being said is:
This was no damn accident. He peed his pants in spite of being asked forty-seven times if he needed to use the bathroom and if he's be stuck with some urine-related nickname through high school, it's not my fault.

When a teacher says:
"Sally had a little trouble listening today."
It translates to:
Sally was a total jerk. Also? I don't get paid enough.

When a teacher says:
"Johnny got a little upset today."
It means:
If Johnny acted like this as an adult, a neighbor would have called the cops.

When a teacher says:
"Sally was very loving today!"
What is really being said is:
If the kid wasn't clinging to my leg, she was sitting on my lap. I have no feeling from the hips down.

When a teacher says:
"Johnny and Sally seem to have become special friends!"
What is meant is:
That cute little hand-holding has turned into a kissy-face situation.

When a teacher says:
"Johnny and Sally seem to have be getting along better."
What he/she means is:
The two have put their hatred aside and now team torment others.

When a teacher says:
"Johnny has a very active imagination!"
What they're saying is:
The kid told me all your embarrassing family secrets but I'm too classy to let on.