So, I've been getting a lot of phone calls lately from affiliates of Greek telecom, power, and various other companies. There is a registry where you request your phone provider to be added and you won't receive any commercial calls that you haven't asked. Yeah, right! If anything, when I was added to this registry, I started receiving even more calls.
So, the story is always the same. The affiliate calls to offer you a great reduction in your bills. The thing is that they are always offering you their most expensive plan and to be honest, it sounds tempting getting a huge discount unless you know your actual needs. And today I decided to ignore myself being annoyed and to troll the other party.
([R] is the representative, [M] is me!)
[R]: Hi, I'm calling from (redacted), for an offer that is active. 50% discount on your fixed phone's monthly bill
[M]: Hmm, I'm interested, tell me more
(silence for a couple of seconds, they noticed my sarcasm
[R]: Okay (reluctantly). So, we are offering a 50% discount on your monthly bill. The contract duration is 2 years, your number will be ported into our network and it will take about 3-4 business days.
[M]: Sure, and the 50% that you offer is 50% off of what?
[R]: We will see all of those details, I just want to know you current provider.
[M]: The truth is I'm paying way too low. It's a special contract that I don't think you can beat.
[R]: I see. Well, the offer is about our (redacted) fiber optics plan. It includes unlimited calls to Greek landlines, 300 minutes for calls to mobile phones, 50mbit internet (vDSL). The normal pricing is €63/month, and you will get it for only €35/month. Upon having a vocal confirmation, we will start the porting process and you will get a written contract in 2-3 business days.
[M]: And how's that 50%?
[R]: It's around 45%.
[M]: I see. And how will I benefit from this? I mean, I'm paying even lower than that.
[R]: How much are you paying? Maybe we can match that.
[M]: I doubt it!
[R]: Ok, but could you please tell me the amount you are paying?
[M]: Sure. I don't have a landline, I'm waiting for (redacted) company to get a permit from the municipality to bring the fiber to my building. When this happens, I'll be paying €24/month, without any contract duration. But right now I'm paying about €0/month (thanks to the guys in the next apartment).
[R]: Ok, I'm sorry for bothering you
[M]: Sure, and while I have you on the line, can you tell me your name again?
[R]: I'm (redacted) calling you from (redacted) advertising agency, representing (redacted).
[M]: Cool. I wrote them down. You should know that you called a number in Registry 11, you've been calling me a lot, everytime it's the same story and...
[R]: I'll put a note on your number to never call you again.
[M]: Lady, I'm speaking.
[R]: I'm sorry, I hear you
[M]: I don't have anything against you, you are representing (redacted) right now. But STOP calling me. I was never interested, and I will never be interested in your discount and..
[R]: You are right, have a nice d...
[M]: I'm still speaking.
[R]: I'm sorry.
[M]: No you are not sorry. Have a nice day!
I lost my cool near the end, but it was a successful trolling experience.
Oh wait, don't go yet! Στάσου, μυγδαλα as we say in Greece.
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