Prompt of the day “Small Talk” - New Age Philosopher

in blog •  last year  (edited)

How’s the weather today? How was your drive into work? What did you do last night? How are you feeling? As a person going through life with anxiety I have never been fond of small talk, the questions often force me to take a deeper look at myself than I truly want to!

Sometimes I wonder if it is really a desire of the other person to know these things or whether it’s just their need to fill the silence with chatter. When it comes to conversing with others I much prefer having a deep discussion about something other than myself or my experiences or even theirs for that matter. There are so many larger issues in the world that require further discussion that small talk seems as if it’s just wasted effort, I am completely comfortable not talking if we cannot have a discussion that relates to some grander idea than ourselves.

The one question I never seem to ask anyone is “how are you doing today?” it may have something to do with my ESP but I seem to know without asking. Furthermore I don’t like to give blanket responses, if someone asks me how I am feeling I actually take a moment and reflect deeply to give an honest answer which if I am obviously feeling pretty terrible the question seems insulting to me because should it not be obvious already? Again maybe that’s just my ESP, hard to imagine not being able to feel other people’s energy.

Personally I believe in past lives and with my desire to avoid small talk I deeply believe that in one of my past lives I was a philosopher. Maybe I am meant to be a philosopher of the New Age, exposing this materialistic world for what it truly is!

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So, I don't know if that is true in Canada, but in the States "How are you?" is a standard greeting and it is expected to say "fine".

I used to have a store with lots of international customers and if I asked that question, many lit up and started to tell me all about how they were feeling. I had to learn not to ask that when there was a long line LOL

Also, many people are clueless about how a person feels and many people are very good about hiding how they feel. Depression often comes with a laughing face...

Yea I totally agree the question “how are you?” is a standard greeting with the expected answer of “fine” or “good” followed with “how about you?” I find it fairly impersonal though I still feel compelled just by asking to actually take a look at myself to give an honest personal answer.

I tried for years to hide my depression with a smile, your definitely correct there but as of late I find the energy required to uphold that facade evades me. I would much rather just “keep it real” so if I’m feeling extremely low unless you wish to know the truth asking me is going to be more then your bargaining for. I have asked myself several times who am I presenting this false state of happiness for? Who does it benefit if the energy it takes to uphold the state drains me feeling lower in the end? Now I’m more on a search for peace within my ups and downs rather then a search for happiness because in my mind searching for happiness does not being peace but searching for peace does bring happiness. Sometimes that may mean peace and quiet 😉 as it’s hard to fully explore your low feelings if constantly distracting yourself from them.

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Totally agree! We have this discussion a lot around here. For one, why mental unwellness is still so stigmatized. If someone has an upset stomach, everyone feels sorry for them.
If the same person has an upset mind, nobody wants to know about it.

I have a feeling that the non-acceptance is part of our new society of being shown happy, happy wherever you look.

While it is true that people always kept up the facade, I think the bombardment with fake happiness (FB, Instagram, even Steem) hasn't been that constant. The "odd" person was very much part of society as was the grandma sighing all day.
On top, we have the New Age teachings that we are responsible for our own happiness and if we aren't happy, we are failures - that make it hard to be real.
don't get me wrong, I do like a lot of the New Ageism, and I do think that we have a lot of control about how we feel in general - like food, exercise, the people and things we surround ourselves with - but we aren't 100% in control.
Embrace the dark times - they often give birth to the next great thing... At least that is what I am trying to do...

Yea I think your on to something there, we are encouraged to be happy even if being fake for the sake of others which just furthers the stigmatism if feeling any other way. Further that happiness is pushed through materialism for a consumeristic agenda, seems like a never fulfilling cycle to me.

The embracing of the negative feelings to give birth to new things is a good way of describing how I ended up on Steemit and my journey once I got here.

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Interesting post! This one really got me thinking, and I can't quite come to a decision regarding how I feel about small talk. There seems to be a time and a place for it, but I can't quite decide when that is! lol. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Thanks I appreciate it and glad you didn’t find it offensive or anything 🤙

The one exception I know to be true for myself is if I am trying to reach out to someone struggling. If they seem as if they just need an ear I often get a sense to try make any personal connection with them even just through small talk. I am not searching for a blanket response either, I truly want to hear the nitty gritty so I can express my sympathy with examples of how I can relate and cope. It’s all about reminding them that they are not alone and I find because I typically avoid the small talk my interest has a greater impact.

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I don't actually fond of small talk too but people loved sticking around me and started small talk eventhough it was obvious I was not in the mood of talking. Lol.

Well, over here we also respond automatically to question such as 'how are you' with a 'fine, thank you' and a smile. And some, if they are comfortable, would start to share a little to test the water to see the response, before they go deeper. It depends on person.

Thank you for sharing this honest piece of your heart.

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Awesome, thank you 😊

Yea it does seem like a test the water type thing but never so they really want to dive in. I also find that many people do like to linger and start small especially when I am in an untalkative mood, personally I consider it energy theft 🤣 making for an unpleasant response from myself in most cases. Now had they started a serious discussion about anything other then me or my day it would be a completely different story.

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