Anti Socialism or Great ploy?

in #blog6 years ago

Today during one of my strolls to the coffee shop, I was out in a cafe when I was watching these 2 people that never met before start up a conversation...

The person initiating was wearing casual clothing and seemed to be able to put 2 and 2 together, and the person he was talking to seemed very respectable and actually likeable though came across a bit stand-offish.

While I was watching this event unfold in front of me their conversation went something like this and for the sake of this post let us call them Ben and Bob.

Ben: I gotta say this place has it's own charm to it.
Bob: Yeah, it's a great place.
Ben: Yeah I love the community here, I just recently moved here from Melbourne.
Bob: Oh, that's cool.
Ben: Thanks yeah it was a bit of a move, will take some time to get everything unpacked
Bob: Well hope it works out.

Then at this point Bob grabs his phone dials a number and excuses himself and leaves the cafe.

Before I go any further though I recognise that there are a number of reasons this could be happening

  • Bob was afraid of being taken advantage of
  • Bob was afraid of coming across as socially awkward
  • Bob perceived Ben as not trustworthy
  • Bob was worried he can come across as not trustworthy

and coming from a point of view of someone who has worked in industries where I've been on the giving end of Bens shoes. I gotta say I've seen a lot of action.

About a couple of weeks ago I was speaking to someone who has a lot more experience in the same industry that I have and has developed himself as more professional. From his view he spoke to me what it's like from Bob's perspective, his advice was "don't talk too much, cause the more you talk the more people will know about you, then the less they will respect you."

Which leads me to think ok there's a nuance to this situation. Cause right now it seemed that yeah obviously
Bob didn't really respect Ben, it was their first time speaking to each other, they never met. Though in Ben's eyes he was coming across as respectful, he wasn't trying to solicit anything all he was doing was just trying to do was build a new relationship.

We know that there are events posted all over the internet, on community boards and apps these days if you want to meet new people.

Though because there are going to be situations like this, what's the best way to make it as unawkward and unscary for someone like Bob?

If you ever find yourself in Ben's shoes, just use a little understanding and respect towards Bob in my humble opinion, cause it seems Bob just doesn't want to get burnt.

What are your thoughts?

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