I am telling you as a backdrop to my perspective on depression, and purpose.

For the meditative this -as I cannot

““The happiness of those who want to be popular depends on others; the happiness of those who seek pleasure fluctuates with moods outside their control; but the happiness of the wise grows out of their own free acts.”― Marcus Aurelius

As to your"pain"

Eventually, my dad told me to 'fuck off.'... He was like that.

POWERFUL...GENUINE and deeply personal.

I cannot add much, but I have walked long on with bare-souls like you have. I am a shattered vase vessel' which has been self-repaired so many, many times. To the causal observer, they see, but do not see. I see all the cracks and the little bits that could (will) never be made whole anytime in a reflective object.

Given my dyslexia, I read it twice, but I will read again and I will post no more replies.

I can offer no evidence but my first post blog was about my eternal father... much was left out... but your writing that has made me "think."

I feel fortunate to have found you here... you make me think... the "force" is strong with you. And that's not a trite remark.

Thank you