Well, to be honest, my amazing Steemian friends I do not know where to start with explaining where I have been for the past 5-6 months? So many things have happened in my life. I have faced some of the greatest challenges in my life. And, after my last basketball season, I thought it was a great set-up for the best summer ever. But, instead, it turned out to be one of the most tiring and exhausting summers in my life and it did not stop jet. Challenges, blind-sides keep coming and have been taking hit after hit and it has taken a toll on me both physically and mentally...
How It All Started?
Well, as some of you know it all started with my father having big health problems in which we did not know if he was going to make it through. For 3-4 months it was a battle to get him better. But, the biggest battle was not in hospitals but when he got home. To make him realize and change things which led him to the situations he was in. And, my friends, my father is an extremely stubborn man. Getting him to change things in his life was the biggest battle of my life. Constant fighting with him. Every single day. Trying to change 40-50 years of bad habits in just 4 months was no easy task. And, during those 4 months, even though I managed to change him and get him well I forgot a very important thing.
I "forgot" about MYSELF. I forgot to take care of myself. I was trying to be "STRONG" for everybody. Because it is who I am as a person. I was so focused on helping him I ignored everything else. I ignored my feelings, I ignored my body, and I just focused on getting my father well again. To be honest, I was not experienced or prepared to deal with the situation I was in. But, letting my father part this world early was not an option for me.I was going to do anything in my power to get him well again, and I did, but it came with a cost...
Because focusing so much on it created many problems for me now. And, that is why I was so absent from Steemit, made some bad decisions about my basketball career, and pushed my body further mentally and physically than ever before. And, it has left a toll. It has left a toll I am dealing with now. It has left a toll of unprocessed emotions, pain, stress, which I have shoved deep down so I can focus on helping my father. To be honest, I was inexperienced, caught off guard, and did the best I could to deal with the situation I was in. I was ticking bomb waiting to explode. That toll has to lead me honestly make some fast and stupid decisions about my basketball career which in turn lead to more stress, and more challenges I have to deal with now.
In my next post, I will tell you all about what happened in Morroco and how it all added to my stress levels. I am a fighter and I will never quit on myself. I honestly believe all this will make me a stronger person, and a better person. Things happen sometimes in life so you can learn from them. Get better, stronger, and build yourself back up. Sometimes you just don't get answers right away, and you just have to keep fighting, and crawling out of the "pit" you have been thrown in. No matter what, keep crawling. And, that is exactly what I will do.
"Sometimes in order to get strong, you need to be weak."
Thank you all for reading, have an amazing day, much love,