Birthday Blues: It's not always a Happy Birthday and it's Okay

in #birthday6 years ago (edited)


Yema Mango Cake from my podmate :)

I celebrated my birthday a few days ago. “Celebrate” is an inaccurate term because I didn't really do anything that day. Just a week ago, I was searching for flights. I was thinking of going to a remote island here in the Philippines. I thought I wanted to go to the still unexplored San Vicente, Palawan.

I always travel during my birthday (or sometimes before/ after when it's busy at work). Last year I was in the US, the previous year in a surfing hub in the north of the Philippines, the year before that in Vietnam, and so on.

This year, I didn't feel like doing what I have always enjoyed. I even found a cheap ticket to Palawan just a week before, maybe it was my birthday luck. I would have rejoiced and booked it right away. It took me days to think about it though.

Do I really wanna go? Do I just want to keep a tradition that I don't feel like doing this time?

I became honest with myself. The truth is I don't want to do anything on my birthday. I want to hide inside my small room and sleep. And that's what I did.

I was feeling really sad and lonely the day before my birthday. I started my birthday morning crying and locked in my room. It felt like I wasted a lot of time. I have not yet achieved dreams and goals I have set years ago. I felt useless.

I have been going through this melancholy ride for the past years but I have always set aside my sadness on my birthday. I have to be happy on my birthday. I was always happy on my birthday. But this year was different and it felt odd even for me.

So what else do I do? Self-diagnose with Google :)

Maybe most of you know this term but since I have always been happy on my day this would be my first time to encounter the word: Birthday Blues or Birthday Depression.

According to Urban Dictionary, Birthday Blues is

general sadness or feeling down by a person on or around his birthday. The factors that can cause this include: - Being upset at officially aging another year. - Being disappointed or not having expectations met by a birthday celebration or gifts. - Being unsatisfied with accomplishments since the previous birthday.
-definition by Rat_Fink


With those factors defined above, I tick the 1st and last one as being applicable to mine. This surprised me because I realized how common it is. I have found medical journals and pop psychology websites offering advice on how to cope with it.

But it was my birthday and I was being lazy so I did not read those advice. I wanted to give myself the luxury of laziness and doing whatever, actually nothing.

What harm could 24 hours do anyway? I thought to myself, this day will pass like any other day.

I spent the day eating junk food. Something I can't always do or my doctor will kill me so that was some sort of luxury. I also watched Ted Talks the entire day hoping some speaker would enlighten me about life. Several Ted Talk videos later, I napped until it was already dark. And that made me satisfied because I haven't had a siesta in such a long time.

My day looked like a loser's day. But I don't care. I loved it the way it was. That restful day was the best gift I can give to myself after trying so hard in this life (work, Steemit, etc) and achieve nothing.

But my best take away is that, IT IS OKAY. I survived a depressing birthday. A few days later, I am very much okay with it and would not have done it any other way.

Note: This post will be re-blogged in https://steemit.com/@wanderlass. Learn about Steem and cryptocurrencies by checking this site out!


Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://wanderein.com/2018/07/03/birthday-blues-its-not-always-a-happy-birthday-and-its-okay/

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It is regrettable to know that you spend your birthday indoor been lonely and thinking about how you have not yet achieved you set goals . My advice is always be happy on your birthday at least for been alive to witness another year , it is only someone that is alive that set and achieve goals for themselves. Thanks God almighty for keeping you alive that is what matters most @wanderlass

Thanks for the advice @obest. This is certainly not my best birthday so if I get the feeling it would happen again next year, I'll try to do something about it. I'm happy to be alive, thinking about it now. Thank you :)

Oh sorry I missed this @wanderlass ..........and you know, my b'day is the start of the month, so they must be pretty close - fellow Cancarians :D.

And look at you give yourself a hard time again, getting depressed over self-defined non-accomplishments.....and thereby of course ignoring all that you are and have become over the past year! Maybe your b'day prez to self could be one year of 'not giving myself a hard time about anything whatsoever'........I becha, you'll feel differently next year if you do this :D

Don't be giving your power away my friend, no negativity has control of your life - you are the one that shapes it. If you think along negative lines, you just bring this into being. Of course you can't fake the positive, but at least you can acknowledge the negative and not beat yourself up about it - acknowledge (ok, you're here), then let go (adios, see ya, thanks).

Also, if that day looks like a 'loser's day', well all my days are ditto :D ... and I love being the kind of 'loser' that makes time for myself, that values myself (not over anyone), that respects myself!

And a Belated Happy Birthday to YOU!!!!!!!

Belated happy birthday too! I don't think I have greeted you. I am forgetting things sometimes waaah. okay no more negativity.

That's a good advice and gift to myself, to be kind to myself this year. And maybe I'll get used to that kind treatment to myself :D Thanks for always reminding me of the brighter side of life :)

Never told you when my b'day was - and this post was the first I had heard about yours. I am day numero uno, so I 'm guessing that's within a day or so of yours - how funny, nice too :D

(PS it does kinda offer a demonstration of how 'drama' can be created out of no-thing ie giving yourself a hard time over forgetting something you never even knew in the first place!...being kind to yourself is also ditching stuff like that - as you say 'waah-nder-lass, okay no more negativity' LOL 🌟)

Happy birthday @wanderlass. I miss you :)

Thanks @akbarrafs. Looking forward to working with you for the Speak Freely TV project :)

Hope you will have a better future and that you ll achieve any of your goal

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