We are surrounded by the opinions and words of others. The media is full of people telling us what to think, telling us how we should act and how we should live our lives. Today I sat with a friend of mine, who in reality could give birth at an time now. Her official due date is in 9 days. She is super excited to meet her baby and we both enjoyed talking about that moment when you first lay eyes on your newborn.

It is really hard to actually put into words what that moment is like, you are just totally and utterly consumed by love for this little being and just overcome with awe at how perfectly formed they are. And to this day, even after birthing 3 children, it still blows my mind, that my body held them inside, carried them until they were ready to be born earthside. It is just so amazing.

My friend is planning on having a homebirth and as a Doula I am 100% behind her decision, to be honest I would be 100% behind any decision she makes as it is her choice where and how she wishes to birth her baby. But her family members of late have been phoning her up and making her very stressed because they are expressing their concern about her choice to birth at home. In their minds they are trying to look out for her, they are scared for her and her baby and all of this comes from a place of love. They do not understand why she would not want to birth in a hospital like most other women do. I do understand, I opted for 3 homebirths, my eldest did end up being born in hospital, but my other two were born at home. My youngest was also born unassisted.

I know that some people hold a real fear for those who want home births and I also understand that that fear is something that they have learnt, something that has been engrained in them. There is a huge lack of information available to parents when it comes to pregnancy and birth. For one, being pregnant is not an illness, you are not sick so why the need to go into a hospital. I understand that some people are anxious to know that their baby is okay and that they really do want to have regular check ups. But do they know the real affects that these check up's are having on their baby? Are there many people asking about the side effects of ultrasounds. About what it actually entails, what it is, your baby is experiencing when it happens?

It really is up to us to find out all this information, to be informed and to stay informed.

As a women, I can tell you that our bodies know how to birth our young, we have been doing it for thousands of years and if birthing at home was as dangerous as they make is sound, then we would be extinct. Think how far back you have to go in your family tree, until you reach the time where women birthed outside of hospitals. I am not saying that there is no need for them, only that there is no need for them to be the only option put forward to women.

Pregnancy is not an medical condition, birth is not a medical procedure, it is a huge rite of passage and yes sometimes a women does need assistance and yes it is really important for that women to have access to that assistance. But when we hand all responsibility over to the medical profession we then put ourselves in a position where we believe we do not need to know who it all works. Women should not birth their young lying down, as this causes the shape of your spine to go into a J shape, meaning you have to actually push your baby up and out instead of allowing gravity to help you if you were on all 4's or standing. The reason women are told to lie down is because it is more convenient for the medical staff. Yet how many know this. When women lie down they experience a lot more pain and this leads to more interventions.

There is so much information that is not being shared, that is being lost because people are not asking questions. At times I feel people are more inquisitive about their cars, than they are about their own bodies. Yes it is important to have access to medical practitioners, but please be aware that a lot of procedures that happen in birth, take place not always because of risk but because of time. Birth can be long, it can be short, but once in hospital you do not have the luxury of time. Your birth is expected to happen within a certain time frame and if it does not happen naturally, then they will make it so.

In fact most women who enter hospital are automatically placed on a drip which contains Pitocin, this is a synthetic hormone that is being used to speed up the birth. But it also speeds up the baby's heartbeat and recently a research paper was released linking Pitocin to Post Natal Depression. Yet none of this is common knowledge.

You can find that paper here entitled Association of peripartum synthetic oxytocin administration and depressive and anxiety disorders within the first postpartum year.

When I started this post, I actually used the heading, " what are they telling us?", but I changed it, because that is really not the issue here, the issue is what are they not telling us. How can we be expected to make informed decisions when we do not have all the information. What to do when we do not even realize that we do not have all the information. Our bodies and our well being, is our responsibility. I really believe it is time for us to take on that responsibility, to not just let others make such important decisions for us.

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