"Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:

And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world." ---1 John 4:1, 2, & 3

About a year or so ago, my Son had told me that there are rules. At the time when he told me that, I'm almost positive that there was more than just one rule that he was telling me of, but for some reason neither one of us can remember now if it was just one rule or if there were other rules as well. The rules he was telling me were based in scripture from God. I was immediately interested, but had forgotten what he'd told me until recently when it came up in another conversation with that same gal at work. Without even thinking, or remembering what my Son had told me, I immediately told HER, "there are rules - they HAVE to confess that Jesus Christ is Lord - if they DON'T confess that or are unwilling to confess it then they are NOT of God, & you must order them to FLEE". I obviously screwed it up when I was speaking to her........ Which ate at me, because even though I told her that very strongly, & DO strongly believe it, it is NOT exactly what the scriptures state, & I do NOT like to screw up scriptures. So I asked my Son if he could find what he was telling me about, show it to me again, & then I could correct myself with her.

Now look at the scripture above. Look closely. It says, "Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God". That means you have to get "it" to confess that "Jesus Christ is come in the flesh". Do NOT tamper with scripture. From all my years in a 501c3 church, I told her what THEY had programmed me to say. NOT what was factual scripture. Understand? 501c3 churches are NOT based in scripture. Not what they preach, not what they teach, & it is not God that they serve. Keep that in mind. But I don't want this post to be about the demonic 501c3 so-called churches. That's NOT the focus of this post, so let's see how I do with getting back to what this is actually about here.

All my life, since my very early toddler years, I have been "different". It was never anything I sought, tried for, or even asked for. I just.... Was.... Initially, I didn't realize that I was any different than anybody else. I thought everybody was able to see what I saw, hear what I heard, feel what I felt, communicate the way I did, & so on. It came natural to me. As I got a little older, & started understanding why the other kids thought I was "weird", it hit me. They CAN'T see what I see, hear what I hear, feel what I feel, & communicate the way I do. They literally CAN'T. So I began to keep more things to myself, & became quite fond of "my own space". To this day, I HAVE to have "my own space".

About 10 years ago, my Mom told me of something that my Dad had done when I was a baby. It was the first time she'd ever told me about it, & it absolutely BLEW MY MIND. Even as I get ready to type this, I struggle with what I'm about to type. You people don't know this, but my Dad was a VERY devout, & religious man. VERY MUCH SO!!!!!!! VERY strong in God! He KNEW, & I stress this to ya'll, he KNEW The Bible! So these words are reeeeeeal hard for me to put here or anywhere else. Apparently, according to my Mom, who ought to know 'cause she was there, there was a time beFORE my Dad became all about God wherein he was very interested & curious about the, let's just say the "dark arts"........ He read, studied, even astral projected, basically, dabbled. Dabbling ALWAYS has repercussions, ya'll. Just don't do it. Anyway..... I was born during THAT time of my Dad's life......... So.... Apparently, according to my Mom, when I was a baby, my Dad would often times put me into a dark room, close the door, & leave me in there.

My Mom would find me in a dark room behind a closed door, take me out, & ask my Dad WHY he stuck me in a dark room behind a closed door. A BABY! His response? "So she can get her powers, April." That creeped my Mom out, & it made my Mom angry, & she told him NOT to stick me in there like that again. That was the gist of the tale she had told me that I'd NEVER been told before. So naturally, the first thing I did was to tell her she was LYING. That my Dad, MY DAD would NEVER have been into anything like that! He sure as HELL would never have tried to bring any of his innocent children into it! She kept shaking her head at me. She told me that my Dad was not ALWAYS into God. She explained that there WAS a time wherein he did things that he was NOT proud of, & she assured me that he DID do this. She stated that there were many times she'd removed me from a dark room behind a closed door...... I was stunned. I was honestly in shock. I could not accept it, but I TRIED to. Somewhere, deep inside me, I knew she was telling me the truth. I knew it, but I was struggling with accepting that truth.

At one point, I asked her a question. "What "powers" was I supposed to get?" She couldn't answer that one for me. She didn't know. As her words began to sink in little by little, I began to wonder. I will ALWAYS wonder. See, my Dad went to sleep in 2001, so it's not exactly like I can ask him about this. Regardless though........ Hmmm..... I think I'm getting too far off track here. This is a huge mess, ya'll. Not gonna lie. Trying to put this shit into words in ANY kind of an organized manner is VERY difficult, but I'm trying because for some reason that I do NOT pretend to be fully informed of - I'm MEANT to do this. To TRY to put this into words with as much organization as I can. I don't expect anybody to understand that, it's just....... Something I HAVE to do for "some reason".

See.... There are spirits, demons, angels, ghosts, yada yada yada...... They're all around all of us at all times. About 2 or 3 years ago, I finally began to wrap my head around the fact that ALLLLLL those things are factually demons. Up until then? I honestly believed that so & so was really the ghost or the spirit of a deceased loved one. Were they? Were they REALLY? Well..... I'm SO DAMN CONFUSED at this point. I honestly am. I mean.... Are they ALL demons OR NOT??? Let me tell you a little story. A true story.

A few years back, when my Son was a teenager, & AFTER my Dad had gone to sleep to wait for Jesus, there were some "episodes", let's just say.... Every night when I tried to go to sleep, & as soon as I'd hit that moment RIGHT BEFORE I'd be asleep. I mean RIGHT BEFORE I would technically be under. Understand? Okay. In THAT moment, every night when I got to THAT moment, this is what would happen.......

I would hear LOUD, screams, gun fire, explosions, cars crashing, thousands of stomping / running feet, slams, as if it was fucking WWIII going on RIGHT NEXT TO ME where I was laying. In the midst of all that, I would hear, every so passionately being stated to me, "OPEN YOUR EYES". Of course, I was in that moment of right before I'd be under for sleep, so I couldN'T "open my eyes". After a few times of going through this, in my groggy, exhausted state of mind that I was in at the time, I started pleading with it. With "the voice" that had begun SCREAMING at me to, "OPEN YOUR EYES". I started telling it, "but I'm SOOOO tired, I NEED to sleep". And every damn time that voice would reply with the same shit, "OPEN YOUR EYES". As time went by, the voice became more insistent, more urgent, & much more demanding. Eventually, one night, I "opened my eyes"........

I stood up, with my eyes opened, totally awake, & I stood there for a minute. "Now what?" I asked.... And though I had NO reason, I stress this, NO reason to think I was going to find anything, I proceeded to walk towards my Son's room. Almost instinctually just headed to my Son's room. The door was closed. We never close our doors in this family. They're always open. I opened the door, & expected to find my Son sound asleep as he SHOULD have been, my heart began to race AS I opened the door. It was as though even though my brain "knew my Son was asleep", in my heart, I FELT "something's wrong with your Son, Elaina".

Upon opening the door, I saw that the light was on, & my Son was standing there wide awake, & cutting himself........... I FREAKED THE HELL OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! After this happened, once I FINALLY saw what my Son had apparently been doing for some time, I didn't have anymore "episodes" when I tried to go to sleep. To this day, whenever this topic comes up, & I share this very personal tale with someone, I tell them that I NOW KNOW it was my Dad that kept telling me, "OPEN YOUR EYES". I feel it. I KNOW it! It HAD to be!

So..... WAS IT my Dad? Was it REALLY??? Or was it a demon? Would a DEMON warn me about harm that my beloved Son was doing to himself? REALLY???? You think? Come on. In my heart, though I'm struggling with this like you can't imagine, I BELIEVE it was my Dad that was trying to warn me about what my Son was doing. To SAVE my Son. He saw what I couldn't see. What I didn't see. After all, after I finally DID see it with my own eyes, I never had anymore of those "episodes". You think that's a coincidence? I don't know. I don't pretend to have all the answers here. All I can say is what I experienced.

But you see..... That is only but ONE example of "experiences" I've had throughout my entire life. I've had MANY. So very many! However..... NOW that I know about the rule, I WILL use it. I will tell "whatever" that it MUST confess that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh, & that if it does NOT confess that - it MUST FLEE!!!!!!!!!!

Which brings me to another point, actually..... If God gave us a scripture about this rule, & he obviously did, then.... Couldn't that be interpreted to mean that NOT all spirits / ghosts / etc. are necessarily demons? I don't know. Again, I'm really confused on what to think here with all this right now. All I can say at this time is what I'm going to change in how I handle this kind of stuff in the future. That's all I can do for now.

I'm going to stop for now. I'm not done. I have a LOT to speak on about all this, but I'm so very tired. I'm going to sign off. Maybe I'll manage to get back to this another time, maybe not, but I can't do anymore right now.