Better Life With Steem | The Diary Game | 01/05/2021 | What Does Magic Mean To ME And What Part Does it Play, In MY Life Today?

I have always believed in Magic as I see it happening with me all the time in my life. I was a very insecured child, since my parents were never around. I was away from home and on my own in many situations of life, all I wanted was to be safe and secured. And I never wanted to get into a situation where I would feel helpless or I would have no way out. The fear of managing it all alone was there. I also had water phobia as a child, I would never step out of my home if it was raining. I would feel the rain would drag me away, so I preferred to stay indoors, even avoiding school. I would get nightmares, stiffness at night as if someone was choking me up and I would struggle to break myself free. All of it was possibly coming from the trauma of the very early childhood times with my parents, where all that I was seeing was both of them fighting and abusing and eventually my dad getting into a practice of heavy alcohol consumption.

So the most important thing for me was to feel secured and safe. In those times one elderly person mentioned to me that if I ever feel unsafe, scared or vulnerable I should think of Lord Ganesha, he is the lord of removing obstacles from life. I started following that, whenever I found myself in any fix I would keep remembering him and call for his help and I would see that the situation would ease out for me. He became my Magical savior, by the day my faith in him started building up more and more. I would talk to him as a friend, I would ask for his help as a mentor, I would cry to him like a child, anything in my life he was like my first go to point and I would be sure that he will take care of me and yes I firmly believe that he does it till date.

At one instance I remember I had to undergo a surgery and while the Doctor was giving me anesthesia I was chanting Lord Ganesha's name, after the surgery when I was coming back to senses I was calling on his name. The Doctor laughed at me saying looks like you are deeply in love with him.

Ya, but now I do not keep falling back on him for everything, ofcourse my understanding has changed a lot from childhood times, but still whenever I find myself in a dire situation I have a strong faith and belief that if I call for his help, I will be taken care off. He is my Magic and I know for sure sure that with him being around I am always going to be safe. There have been many instances in my life where I would feel stuck and feel there is no solution but then miraculously something happens and gets me out.

But then last year when my hubby was sick and was fighting for his life, I felt very angry with him at one point of time, and I told him that why did he put me in such a situation and I do not wish to talk to him. After that it was a long break I had with him, but then somewhere in my heart I was missing him and wanted to get back.

Magic happens in our lives in all different ways and we can never justify or find any rational in Magic. We all believe in something or the other, for me Lord Ganesha is my Magic and I know for sure he is all the time with me. He will put me through difficult situation but at the same time also give me a helping hand and give me support and never leave me alone. He has been my Parent, Mentor, Friend all through out from my childhood and he is my Magic.

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