Mazzle Reviews Beer... Cocktails? What the Actual F#&k!?
I Think Steemit Has Driven Me Insane
Who's bright idea was this again? Well, I said I would do it so here it is. And I roped my gorgeous wife in to do the photo shoot. Thanks wife.
Today for #BeerSaturday I bring you Beer Cocktails! Why? It sounded like a good idea at the time. Was it worth it? Well... have a read and decide for yourselves.
I mentioned the cocktails I would be preparing this evening in a post that I made earlier in the week. Thankfully, people just laughed at my idea rather than giving me more cocktails to prepare. So without further ado, here are my three cocktails!
This is a slightly different review from my usual post format so it will be quite informal and potentially slightly drunken.
As I mentioned in my earlier post, I am only using Coopers Pale Ale in my cocktails for this review since it's the only beer in my fridge right now, it was free, and I'm not wasting my amazing home-brew in what is quite likely a bunch of horrendous cocktails (I'm literally writing this review as I prepare the cocktails). Live blogging... has anyone done that before? Well, someone has now. Go me!
The Brown Velvet
OK so this beer is meant to be Guinness and Champagne. And is also meant to be called The Black Velvet. However given we're using Coopers Pale Ale, I feel that The Brown Velvet is more fitting, and slightly more hilarious.
The cocktail is quite simply 50/50 beer and champagne. It doesn't get much simpler than that.
My wife's feedback after her first sip of this cocktail is that she likes this cocktail since the champagne softens the "beeriness" and makes it drinkable.
My thought is that this is one hell of a confusing drink that tastes like it should be beer but has a weird sweetish champagne after taste. @mazzle does not like this drink.
Coopers is quite a hoppy and bitter pale ale, so perhaps a less hoppy and bitter beer would make this workable. However it is still blasphemous to be mixing beer with anything other than a glass and your mouth.
The Mimosa
This cocktail is quite simple as well. It only consists of one third beer, one third orange juice and one third champagne.
I may have mixed too much orange juice into this cocktail. My pouring skills and cocktail blending skills are not particularly good. I'm also struggling to take this seriously since it's all quite hilarious.
The cocktail has mild notes of hops and a slight bitterness. The high carbonation from the champagne weirdly makes this quite a drinkable cocktail.
My wife actually said it was delicious, which doesn't really surprise me given that all of these cocktails were designed for people that don't like beer. But to be honest, it just takes like a slightly less sweet and lightly carbonated orange drink.
And now for the grand finale!
The Michelada
This cocktail is slightly more complex, and disturbing. It consists of the following:
- Tomato Juice
- Beer
- Lime
- Salt the rim if you're a bit of a tool
- and don't forget to add some spice, I used tabasco sauce.
It's very similar to a Bloody Mary. I think I read somewhere that only psychopaths enjoy drinking the Bloody Mary cocktail, however I can't find a link to back up that claim. Anyway, let's give this nightmare of a drink a red hot go.
Right, so I got heavy handed with the tabasco sauce. And tomato juice is just as bad as I remember. This drink is horrendous, and with those ingredients I fail to see how it would ever be good.
The beer does nothing to improve this drink. In fact, the tomato juice and tabasco is so strong that you barely notice that beer was included in the drink.
Oh wow.... I hate this drink so much.
Who the hell would choose to drink this liquid of death??
Well, that's my beer cocktail review done and dusted. I hope you enjoyed it, because I certainly did not enjoy these cocktails.
It was as bad as I expected to be honest. But hilarious to try so worth it overall. And it also proved my point:
Mixing beer with anything other than a glass and your mouth is quite simply blasphemy.
Our musical choice this evening were the incredible tunes from the most talented band - Opeth.
Here's one of my favourite tunes of theirs for your listening pleasure:
If you like this post, please consider upvoting my comment in the #BeerSaturday post: https://steemit.com/beersaturday/@detlev/let-s-celebrate-the-30th-steemit-beersaturday-challenge-with-you-as-an-attendee-join-and-win-from-15-sbd-prizes
Funny stuff. Looks like you're having some fun so good on you!
Nothing like drinking beer cocktails on a Friday evening despite the fact that I have to work quite early tomorrow. :P
Man, this post was hilarious! 😂I gotta be honest here, it takes courage to "waste" beer like that :)
Thanks mate, thankfully I only used 2 stubbies to make these cocktails. I still have plenty left. And I didn't have to use any of my home-brew, although I suspect my homemade Strong Ale would have been better for the "Brown Velvet".
I think the Doctor's Orders Tonic got to you, now you are all like - hmmm what can I mix with my beer? Is a shandy considered a beer cocktail? Maybe there is a blog post in that - what beer styles work best in a shandy (or a panache as I believe they are called in France)
Yep, a Shandy is considered a beer cocktail. I was thinking about making it but couldn't be bothered buying lemonade. Plus it was a bit too normal. I will never be making beer cocktails ever again. It is quite simply blasphemous. Unless you're beer is that bad that it has to be blended with something to make it drinkable. But then you have to ask yourself why you own beer that is that bad.
Interesting and nice post, but I agree only a beer and the glass!!
Beer, glass, mouth. I will never do this again!
This was incredibly entertaining. I have a feeling you had a blast writing it. All of those beer cocktails sound terrible, because beer is a terrible mixer. There is one thing that mixes well with beer...grenadine. Seriously! That may be the focus of one of my future #BeerSaturday posts.
Grenadine?? You’ve said you’ll do it so I expect to read about it now. 😜
I had an absolute blast writing this post. My wife and I were laughing all night while mixing the drinks.
Thanks for stopping by and reading it.
-This cocktail is slightly more complex, and disturbing.
I think this turned out pretty much as I had imagined when you proposed it... Thanks for being our guinea pig! I'll take my beer straight up, please!
Yeah I wasn’t terribly surprised with the outcome. I was surprised at how much fun I had doing it though.
I may have to do a revisit at some stage. It will take a while to recover from that last nightmare of a cocktail though.
I can't stand beer in any form, but this was utter madness. Glad to see you made it out alive.
That last one almost did me in. I could only manage a few sips.
@originalworks
The @OriginalWorks bot has determined this post by @mazzle to be original material and upvoted it!
To call @OriginalWorks, simply reply to any post with @originalworks or !originalworks in your message!
cool post
Thanks your your detailed comment and feedback!
you are welcome
This post has received a 2.61 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @mazzle.