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Well, @quiplet -- I assure you that the blame rests entirely in your action of looking at an apple tree. Those trees, and the fruit they bear, are nonsensically popular with humans. That fruit needs to be totally eradicated from your diet. For more information on this important subject,

please see my treatise rant on the inappropriateness of apples.

I read your rant - and you seem to be very bananafied. Please understand- I love Bananas! You may have changed my mind about apples too.



You seem to be a very intelligent reader, @quiplet, to consider taking action on my advice.
Anyone who listens to me is way ahead of the crowd. Here's a snack to keep you going:

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