How to NOT Behave At a Retail Store...

in asshole •  2 months ago 

Just now as I typed out the title for this piece, an idea spawned in my dumb nearly empty head that I think will be a ton of fun for not only me to type up, but for you all to read and soak in. I have had my shop for 11 years this month but have worked at retail for ages, along with waiting tables and tending bar. Now if anyone here has held any of these thankless gigs...you know of those customers or patrons that just make your day a bit more difficult than it needed to be. I will touch upon some doozies in an upcoming piece but for the now, I would like to tell you about a situation that transpired over the past 24 hours at my shop. This fucker spans 2 separate days!!!

Yesterday I get a call from an assho...I mean gentleman by the name of Shawn K (according to my shop's caller ID). He is calling to inquire if we buy comics. I get this call...no lie...at least 10-15 times a week. So I proceed to ask him the few basic questions that I always do...

  • Is this your collection?
  • How many books are there roughly?
  • Are you aware of any key issues?

The reason I do this is you would be surprised at how often someone calls asking about 3 beat up shitty comics that they want to sell. I would rather find out right off the bat as to save them the trip if it's just stuff that we would 100% have no interest in. Why waste both of our time?!? Half of these calls can be solved with a few answers to the questions above.

So he proceeds to tell me that he has 2 boxes of comics...around 600 books from the 90's. Then he starts rattling titles off. Superman, Web of Spider-Man, Superman/Batman, Star Trek. I tell him that the timeframe he has along with the titles he's mentioning are some of the more commonplace books and that we most likely would have to pass. It's just things I have a gazillion of already. So I can hear him getting irritated right away with my assessment and he gets back to rattling more titles off. I politely just tell him that there is no real way of knowing without seeing them firsthand and if he wishes, he could bring them down so I could take a look. To his curt and snappy reply, "Well I don't want to waste my time and gas if you don't want them.". To which I reply, "Well sir, I honestly don't know what's there so I can't tell you if we could use them or not.". This song and dance went on several times with various ways of me explaining myself.

He then continues to list titles, completely ignoring everything I have said thus far. Once again, you'd be surprised how often this exact scenario occurs. I let him drone on for a few until he mentions a title called Secret Wars. I stop him and ask him if he has #8 and describe the cover. That is a decent book. Depending on condition could be up to around $75 bucks. Nothing that you'll retire from but a good book nonetheless.


Pic courtesy of Mycomicshop.com

He said he didn't know and then asks me what would I roughly pay for this kind of stuff. I want to now murder him, but I keep my cool and for the 88th time tell him that I cannot give an assessment as I can't see exactly what is there. He gets frustrated and thanks me and we end the call. Good...

Or so I thought...

About 20 minutes later he calls again. Ugh...I can feel my blood begin to start boiling. He then says, "Yeah I got Secret Wars 1 through 5". I explain that 8 is the good book and the one that holds value. He then abruptly tells me that if he had anything good that he would just sell it on ebay. I chuckle a bit and in a jokingly manner say, "Ah, I see. You want me to take the unmovable stuff". He did not find it funny and then yells at me that I am missing his point and he's not going to argue with me. He ends it with a sarcastic "Buddy!" and hangs up the phone. Good...this dickbag is out of my life...

Wrong!

About 2 hours later right before I am closing for the day...Shawn K decides to call me once more. I answer in a somewhat annoyed tone and he proceeds to tell me that his brand new car got dented today and he's not in a great mood. Ok...Much to my surprise he actually apologizes for being short and abrupt, and I thanked him for that. He askes if he could still bring them down for me to look at and I told him we were closing in a few minutes but he could bring them anytime he wishes during business hours. He said he would come the next day which made me happy as it was my business partner's day. Woohoo!!!


Please dear God...

So fast forward to a few hours ago. My business partner said that Shawn V came in with the books. My partner looked through them and the best books in the boxes were 1 copy of Superman: Man of Steel #17 and 2 copies of Superman: Man of Steel #18. The former is the first cameo of Doomsday while the latter is his first full appearance. We sell those books for $15 to $20 bucks a piece but the problem is we have about 20 to 30 copies of each sitting in the backstock. He also had a New Mutants #1 CGC slabbed book graded at an 8.0 which is for the most part, worthless...literally like $15 to $20 bucks if you are lucky enough to find a sucker to take it. The rest of the books are for the most part, worthless. My partner asks the question of the day in "What number are you thinking of?" and he shot out $200 bucks. No way Jose!

We typically pay between $20-$40 bucks a long box if filled with common fodder solely for the reason alone that we will eventually offload some in our bargain bins over time. My partner then throws out the offer of $75 dollars for the lot to which of course he scoffs and according to my partner, left in an annoyed hurry. Fine...goodbye...

Oh wait...

He called my partner back and asked what he would do if the CGC book was removed. My partner offered him $60 bucks for the boxes without the slab. Then he just said he would do it for the $75 and would be back in a bit. Fine...whatever. Waaaaaaay too much work and time spent for this nonsense but I guess it's almost over. So this assho...I mean Shawn V comes back in, they make the exchange, and according to my partner him and the scu...I mean gentleman he was with left as my partner was ringing up another customer.

Shortly afterwards is when I got the call from my partner. It seems as though clever Shawn had removed the 3 copies of Superman: Man of Steel that were the only notable things in the lot. So my partner called him and told him to come back as that was not the deal. They exchanged words for a few and he was on his way back. I stayed on the phone to hear the exchange when Shaw...know what?!? Fuck it! When this spineless jizzbucket popped back in and started yelling that my partner misunderstood the deal. My partner kept his cool for the most part which is a lot better than I would have done in that situation. My partner keeps repeating "Just give me the money back and take your books" and he throws out "Well how about I keep the money and give you the other books back and we call it even" to which my partner was having none of that horseshit. Then this cuck decides to get tough and says "The money is in my pocket...why don't you try to come and get it and see what happens?". He then tells my partner that he has a terrible temper and that this was my partners fault for misunderstanding the situation.

Finally after this bag of shit causes a scene in the shop, he throws the money down and takes the books as he leaves babbling and cursing like a fool. I heard that entire exchange and the guy sounded like a complete tool. The only thing that makes me happy is seeing he is located about 20 minutes from our shop (thank you google) and had to waste over an hour in gas and time for literally nothing. At least we have the story to tell and another pic to hang on the Wall of Shame!!!


Captain Dicklick McFuckfacestein

Thanks for reading this nonsense. Hope Shawn V gets ass cancer...

Blewitt



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He looks like a 50 year old man who tries to hang out in the dudebro frat guy scene, while making his living being a tennis instructor and quite possibly smoking crack out of an escorts butthole. So, you know, a great guy. I'm quite shocked to hear that he was about as pleasant as a smoked penis with horseradish smeared all over it.

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I'd say this is the front runner for comment of the year!
🤣🤣😂😂😂

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  ·  last month (edited)

I just couldn’t find a pic for that award. Lol. But correct.

I get this crap everyday not sure why retail attracts such idiotic time wasting scum, not sure how these people make it so far in life @blewitt.

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Yeah, you make a good point. How have these assholes not mouthed off to the wrong person yet. Guy deserves his teeth smashed in. Retail blows. Lol

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Comics are one of those things that everybody thinks they "know the value of", and damn near all of them are wrong. It takes months, if not years, of hands-on experience and continuing education to be able to reach a point where you're semi-competent in understanding the difference between "what a book is worth" and "what some guy listed it for on eBay".

The store where I work buys and sells comics, but there are only a few of us on staff who I'd consider to be truly qualified to quickly assess a long box and determine if there was anything of value. The "how much can you give me for..." stuff we head off over the phone in much the same way as you do, since it's store policy to never make offers without seeing the merchandise first. A customer's definition of "good condition" and the store's definition of same are often wildly different. :)

Fortunately, most people selling to us have already been to a full-fledged comic store, and anything with any major value has been sighted and pulled already. That means they know what's left is essentially worth very little except for bulk sales, and they rarely quibble about the price we give, since the alternative is for them to take them all back and get nothing.

Every so often though, we get the Johnny-Come-Lately who looked all his books up in a value guide and "knows what they're worth". If I deal with these types, and they throw a fit, I calmly remind them that to get the best value, they'll need to list them online individually and wait for them to sell. Watching them do the mental math for the time it would take to photograph, write up, and list five hundred individual issues, not to mention how long it can take for comics of low value to move, they usually come to the conclusion that it's a better use of their time to simply sell them to us for 5-7 cents apiece, take the money, and run. :)

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Ebay is ruining retro game collecting too. I found a ROB at a garage sale about 10 years ago and i nearly got a good deal on it, but some guy came out and killed the deal causr he said they could get way more on ebay. No shit? Nobody goes to garage sales to pay retail.

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That sucks. The guy just stepped in and cock blocked your deal?!? The balls on that dude. Lol

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I’m so glad there is someone else on here that has dealt with these exact situations before. Especially in this specific field.

I love when people bring me the equivalent of dung and tell me its worth X amount because it’s on amazon for that...

MuRdEr!!!!!!

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haha! wow the stuff you guys have to put up with is amazing! totally unreal. Let's just hope you never see or hear from him again.

Ugh! Thank you for reminding me why I no longer work in retail! I bow down to you.

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I would never behave in such a manner. It blows my mind that people think it’s ok to do so.

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Captain Dicklick McFuckfacestein 😂🤣 That was priceless... Maybe he needed the money to get his car un-dented? I've worked both in retail and hospitality and know like no other how people like him can make a good day into a crap day. What I hated the most was that I had to remain calm and 'friendly' at all times when in reality I wanted to give them a piece of my mind (read: call them Captain Dicklick McFuckfacestein and Contesse CrackHoe NeverLicks McAsswipe).

My whole world changed when I worked at the swapmeet in Vegas on the weekends. There I could treat 'customers' like they treated me, and once I even told a guy I wouldn't sell to him if his life depended on it. The guy tried to buy a brand-new mobile phone (still in box) and haggle as far as he could. When he didn't like my lowest offer, he said: 'If you don't sell the thing to me, you will have to go through the trouble of taking it back home with you." I told him that I didn't care about that and wouldn't starve to death if I had to bring the thing back again...
Literally two minutes later, this teenage boy stood in front of me, asking for my lowest price on the phone and that his grandfather gave him an amount to spend, and that's all he had. I sold it to him, for about $20,- less than the asshole had offered. The guy was still around, watching and almost lost his mind, yelling at me, angry that I sold it to this boy for less and not to him. I just smiled at him sweetly and said: 'Well, you could have just asked nicely..."
That moment, and the look on his face, completely made my day. (that and my two colleagues who had seen it all and were laughing at the man...)

What a loser. This is why Bayville can't have nice things. Honestly you were doing this guy a solid giving him $75 for that box of crap. I would have taken it and thanked you profusely for the beer money.

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Right?!? Do you recognize that dickhole?!? Lol

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I do not know that dickhole. He is probably a transplant.

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Lol. Looks like a Staten Island douche

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damn bro! sometimes we have to deal with this things in business. What a story, good thing things did not get wild inside the shop, that would have been horrible for you guys.

Hey, I really laugh my ass of when I read "He said he would come the next day which made me happy as it was my business partner's day. Woohoo!!!" lol

I had no idea you can buy/sell those comics for that amount of money, wao!

Take care bro, and keep the good work!

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Oh yeah. Think that’s impressive?!? Check this out brother!!

https://www.cnet.com/news/supermans-action-comics-no-1-sells-for-record-3-2-million-on-ebay/

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So do you guys buy comics? I have Secret Wars #7, and I want 200 steem for it. Don't waste my time please

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Shows what you know. #7 is worthless. Peddle your useless trash elsewhere my dear. 😜

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#9 then?

Fine I'll sell you both #7 and #9.

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I have .07 Steem. Will that work?!? Expedited shipping included?

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Captain? Sounds like this "valued customer" should be ranked Admiral in the Asshat Navy

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Lolololol. We throwing ranks here!

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Imagine in a few years when the workers that jerks will get to yell at will simply be automated bots/screens. It'll be great video to watch I'm sure.

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Lololol. Just a bunch of douchebags yelling at computers. Punching them. It will be grand!!!

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He looks dodgy and probably stole the mags, low-life dickbag!

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Yeah this guy was a complete tool. I’m honestly glad he came in on my partners day as my patience for these types of situations has grown mighty thin. I used to smile and nod and politely ask folks to leave when a “situation” arose but the past few times, I lost my shit and went full crazy on these asshats. Luckily these situations don’t happen often.

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Hello!

This post has been manually curated, resteemed
and gifted with some virtually delicious cake
from the @helpiecake curation team!

Much love to you from all of us at @helpie!
Keep up the great work!


5be84e6b38c6c0bdc4bb3057185f10a2.png

I've spent 15 years in retail. You deserve the cake. Niallon11.
Manually curated by @niallon11.

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Simply delicious. Thx @niallon11!!!

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