Be Somebody: The Awakening

in artzone •  5 months ago

This short film has been brewing within the depths of my mind for some time now. I had a totally different idea for where I was going with my Youtube channel at first, but as I began to go through a spiritual transformation in my personal life, I decided to share that instead.

This entire phase of my life seems to be about letting go of the desire for material success or public recognition. It's a hard, HARD thing to let go of because it's always been my dream to become wildly successful and make a name for myself as an author/creative person. And maybe I will, but only if it's my destiny. Desire is the root of all suffering.

There's nothing wrong with dreaming big. I still do. But I took all my happiness and placed it in a locked box in a far-away place and told myself I couldn't have it back until I worked my ass off and got there. And then, over time, I began to wither away, only having access to my happiness when viewing it from afar and imagining myself there. I was not really experiencing any happiness in the now. Only work, work, work, from morning to night, always alone in my isolated cave. I've never been a very social person, but I wasn't even allowing myself to get out and see nature or even get a breath of fresh air once in a while. I thought because I wasn't successful at the age of 35, I didn't deserve that.

Everything is changing now, and this film documents the shift. It's the first step in a new journey, and I hope that from here, I can still pursue the creative projects that are burning within while ALSO living an authentic, loving, and happy life.

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Hi Andiloveall,
I can absolutely relate to what you said in the video! Spending the major part of my adult life searching for success in material, artistic and relationship form it all came down to a crashing halt. Completely fixated on being unsuccessful as a mid 40s person, no family, no savings, etc. life was just a pain in the ass. Things have changed now and the focus is on things that are absolutely worthwhile. I won’t get into that now, as it is a broad subject.
As a musician I also did many jobs I’m embarrassed about. Real crappy gigs! But it was about making money to pay the rent. But at the moment I’ve come to peace with myself and have a simple job anyone can do. It pays the rent and that’s good for now. On Steemit, and soon everywhere I feel like „working“, I can do whatever pleases. The focus is to manage an income to once again pack my bag and … TRAVEL! Although having a home is a calming situation, being on the road and living wherever you want is just as exciting! More life happens on the road :)
And who knows what we are all searching for really. My guess is; home. And my next guess is; it’s not on this plane.
So happy travels and adventures and good luck with your art. I’ll be following what you do.

Have a lovely day :)

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Thanks for your comment! I totally relate to the home "being on another plane" thing. I've felt that way all my life. I've never really related to life on Earth or most of the people here, but I still love it here. It's such a beautiful planet. Travel helps me see and connect to the better aspects of life here.

I'm starting to accept that maybe I don't have a home here. Maybe I'll just live places for six months to a year or two and then move on, putting my stuff in storage and traveling in between. I lived that way when I was younger and it got old, that's why I thought I wanted to settle down in a certain location like Los Angeles. But sometimes what we want on a surface level isn't what we need on a soul level, and spending time traveling seems like the best way to figure this all out. :)

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I fully understand! After a few incidents and a disastrous chapter within a relationship that seemed to be "the one" I arrived at a place, where everything seems to make sense. It's impossible to explain, but when I read the old Chinese Taoists, it feels as if that's the point where I'm at.
Right now stuck back in Germany having to work a regular job, living in between apartments, on the one hand it would be nice to have a steady place, on the other hand it would be great to just travel again. But also; the present ist now and it's ok really.
The "home on another plane" actually gives me the sense, that whatever happens here, it's not the end and only thing that counts. It's a little like being a traveller and spending a while here, till it's time to go somewhere else. That is a fun thought :)

Well I'll be following what you do and will check out your writing.

Good luck for your adventures :)