Hi :) This is like my perspective. I used to think in terms of 'to have'. To have success, to have skills, to have a good job, etc... Or you may change the word to 'achieve'. But in the end is always the by product I seek. The by product of hard-work, the by product of study, the by product of discipline. What I mean is I used to seek the end of the path and not to walk the path itself. So I questioned myself just as you do. And the answer is always the same. The key is to enjoy the ride not the goal. Enjoy the process. Focus on working and practice. The more time you invest, the better you'll become and faster. Any change we seek in the world, irremediably comes from within us first, and is the hardest part. When looking for quality there's nothing better than to study. And study is 80% of the time tedious haha. But pays off big time. Also I value time to spend with family, friends and mostly alone. Because these experiences also play an important role in the things we express through art.
So don't push yourself too hard, just learn to let go and flow. I just looked at your blog and there are these pencil sketches that are so flowy and beautiful, really cool. The pencil work is so loose and relaxed yet strong and expressive. So you have that flowy thing inside. Those sketches tell. I wish to see more of those. Also they are very storytelling inclined. Awesome! Hugs my fiend :)
Yes 'the road is the goal' or something used to be one of those quotes that made me angry for some reason. But then I started to be more mindful of my thoughts and feelings and I realized how impatience dominated me. No wonder I felt anxious most of the time.
I try to be more at peace with my art. To be patient to go small steps. I still catch myself thinking 'I should sketch faster' or 'when I do x pages a day this book could be finished sooner'. It's pointless really, rushed sketches don't make me happier. In fact I've done some sketches recently where I took some time and I've been more at peace and happy with the result in the end.
At this point it's not easy to shut my inner critique and just flow all the time. But it's getting better and I want to believe that I will be at some better place tomorrow and the day after. It already helped me to post again. This community especially feels more real than other places these days. I'm grateful to be here :)
Thank you for all your kind words and for sharing <3
Tooootallyy! I'm the same, always rushing things and pressuring myself about doing more art and faster. Super anxious also. And you're right is super difficult to shut thoughts up and just flow. And also right about this community feels nicer. Anyway I hope to see more of those cool flowy sketches of yours :D