Crass Cross Stitching for Beginners

in art •  3 years ago  (edited)

Welcome to an introduction to cross stitch by your subversive friend, Stitchybitch!

There is something to be said about being able to stab something 4,000 times and not go to jail, it is soothing as hell. I sublimate my rage through crafts and it is the best. Taking a hobby that you usually associate with sweet little old ladies and sprinkling swear words onto is the kind of thing I live for. The contradiction! The aesthetic! THE FILTH.

Let's have some fun with it!


The first thing you need to know about cross stitch is do NOT get intimidated by looking at the fabric. Just like all fabric, it has a weft and a weave. On Aida fabric is just much easier to see. Most people turn their nose up at it because it looks overwhelming at first, but once you know what you are looking for, it is...

So, let's get started! Assemble your supplies.


From the left, we have a bag to collect stray floss cuttings/storage for notions, some 50 cent DMC floss of random color, a pair of snips (you can use scissors, we ain't all fancy. I've used my teeth before), a needle threader, a round tip needle, the very necessary Vomicorn needle minder, and some fabric.


You'll also want to decide on what to hold your fabric with. I used what is on the left, called a "q snap" frame. I find this is easier on my hands than a traditional hoop pictured on the right, and I have to move it around less as I work on projects. Find what you're comfortable with, this is going to be your new, weird thing.

For this demonstration I am using an old, beat-up piece of 14 count aida fabric. They come in a variety of sizes and colors! For a beginner, always start on a low count fabric of WHITE. Trust me, the colored fabric is gorgeous but can be HELL to work with. Wait on the pretties. The lower the count, the larger the squares are. This means it is easier to see. I recommend going with a 14 or 11 count for your first stitching. Makes poppin' that cherry a little less painful.

Now, what you're going to want to do is examine the fabric.


See how the holes form little squares in the fabric? That is what you're looking for. Don't fuck yourself up by taking it all in at once. When you look at this, look for the little symmetrical boxes. These are your pixels.

Needles, round versus sharp.


The reason you're going to go with a round tip (giggity) is that you want to stretch the hole (giggitygiggity) and not tear it (giggitygiggitygiggity).


Yeah, I know. This is a bit boring. Just hang in there. You'll be making pixelated atrocities in no time.

Okay, next step, take some of your floss and cut a nice length. I am going to teach you loop start, so take the amount of thread you want and double it, we are going to be folding it in half. For this, I am going to do four strands so it is easier to see. Loop start is great for anything that calls for even numbers of threads.


Split off two strands from the six that make up the floss. You're going to now double them and thread your needle.


Hot damn, look at that. We are getting somewhere!

Now select your starting point and press your needle through the back of the fabric to the front. Make sure not to pull to hard, you need the tail back there to secure!

Go to the to the opposite corner, and press your needle through the back. Flip it over.



Pull tight, and you've got yourself the loop start! You work is now secure as hell!

Flip it back over!

Go to the bottom of your square and this is where you'll begin your next stitch. You're going to lay down a couple stitches. One thing I didn't learn until recently, you should always do half stitches in one direction first and then fill. It makes them more uniform.


Goddamn gorgeous.


Start filling in! Corner to corner, no big deal!



Congratulations! You just made your first cross stitches! Don't you feel foolish for never trying before?

In closing, feel free to ask me questions! I even made a little sampler to show you the difference between four strands and two, also stitches that swap directions. Can you spot them?


I just gave a fuck! Use it wisely!

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Freaking awesome. I've cross stitched before. But it's been a while. Upvoted and resteemed

Dust 'em off, Chelsea! Stitch again!

Maybe I should.

You definitely should!

I'm really into cross stitch. I took a course on it in art school and it really taught me some good stuff, even a little bit of history about it. Your post is creative, cool, and also has a bit of humor in it. Upvoted and follwoing!!

That's awesome! I bet a class on it would be super cool! Did you ever get into it?

I am so glad that you enjoyed my post! I try to keep stuff relatively light and fun around here, even if it is tedious.
I'll have to follow you back, you seem really cool!

No WAY Dudette! Huge congrats on this posts value :-D Super happy for you ♥

Your post has got me thinking of letting my girls give it a bash again.

I can still remember how many hours I spent in my Grans sewing room while she sat sewing and me fiddling with a cross stitch pattern she had drawn out for me to stitch over.

Lots of love to you girl ♥

Thank you, Mystic! I was really, really floored that this post went ballistic. Artsygoddess brought it to my attention last night in chat when she was telling me she gave me a stitching channel over on her Steem-art discord. I literally fell out of bed from everything hitting me all at once.

You should definitely set the wee ones up with it again, it is really great for honing focus, attention to detail, and a sense of accomplishment! I wish I had these hobbies when I was in school, I think I would have done a lot better.

And how sweet you have that memory to cherish! My other grandma just began passing her cross stitch down to me and helping me improve my crochet! These are things you carry with you every day!

Love you, darling! <3 Thank you so much for stopping in and leaving an awesome comment!

(Also, if you need help getting some fun, free small patterns for the kiddos, let me know!)

I love it!
And the Unicorn vomiting a rainbow is just the icing on this glorious cake.

Yay! I am pumped you loved it!
Man, I love that minder. I actually have a second one of a unicorn pooping a rainbow on a cloud. He even has a little roll of TP with him. It is just... so good. So pure.

You make me laugh all the time I love it!
You should make a post about that little unicorn pooping rainbows!
So pure lol

It really makes me feel awesome to hear that! I love to make people laugh! <3
And I really should... give him a back story...

You do it well my friend <3

You start off with talk'n about a stab-a-thon. Kinda get's all techy and you almost lost me till ya brought up cherry pop'n. Then it all went giggity from there and I really didn't know what the hell to think. Now I totally get your name!

You got a humorously filthy mind...only reason I can justify reading a post about...whatever-ya-call that. I always donated to my gal Sal all that sewing and yarny gear I got in my hauling jobs. I never knew they could be something so lewd 'n crude. }:-)>

I'll be thinking of you next time I get a box full...hahaha...still laughing here...have yerself a good poke'n time! ✌️


It is hard to make something so boring somewhat entertaining and I tried! Some of the projects I have lined up right now tickle the absolute hell out me. I've got a commission for a "fuck the police" with pretty flowers. I will be giggling my whole way through that one!

I am so glad you like my filthy hilarious brain! It gets me in trouble from time to time but thankfully I've got this outlet now that seems to be a great use for it!

Definitely think of me! I would gladly take all weird old lady stuff off your hands! How long have you been hauling?

Hahaha...I'm sure you tried rally hard giggity. Fucking the po-po with a fist fulla flowers...what fun! giggity giggity

Filth...Fun 'n Trouble are my three most favorite pastimes. I have an outlet...*giggity...and I'm pretty sure you got the inlet. giggity giggity Let's compare giggity brains shall we? giggity g'g'giggity giggity!

Seriously though, since the '90s. I'd be happy to bring you all the old weird ladies I can get my hands on but they're getting rare as hen's boobies around these parts. }:-)>


Mmmm, reading this post was like when you put your bare feet on a nice, thick carpet and make fists with your toes.


Amazing post:D

Thank you, thank you!

Wow ,,, you have that skill. I really like art. Thank you for sharing, and I think this is an interesting post, , I ask your help to vote my post, are you willing. Thankyou.

Thanks for stopping in! I am glad you enjoyed it! I'll pop over to yours! :)

wow .. you have nice skills

Thank you so much!

Heck off....I'm giggling so much! And that unicorn, I want one!!!

Hehe! I am glad my smol snek amuses you!
The unicorn you can get from Needle Attractions on Facebook! She's amazing!


You said it! Stab and calm your nerves 😉. I love stiching too but hate end results, never showed it to anyone lol... just perfect way to "meditate", swith of and continue stabbing 😉.

You hate the end result? I bet they are awesome!

And it is always awesome to meet a fellow stitcher!

Nice work like it.

Thank you!

Wow i love it but i will never have the patience to do that! Do you have a technique to give me so that I am patient and can try one day?

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I do not know at all I will inquire and if I try I will write an article to show you what I realize. Thank you for advice in any case. Nowadays everything has to go very fast but it is good to take time to do this kind of thing 👌😉

Definitely! Have you heard of perler beads? There are tiny patterns around for them, you can find them on pinterest for free, even!
Start with a small one of those, and do it like coloring with number! Each pixel is a square on the fabric. It makes it REALLY fun!
I really do hope you try, it actually helped me to be more patient and to pay more attention to detail!

Like your last stitch picture with the unicorn funny

Hahah! Thank you, I am pleased that gave you a chuck! I was giggling like a mad woman when I inserted it.

That twist at the end though lmao..

I love cross stitch and embroidery! I can't do it much cause it kills my wrists. Great little tut!

It is so awesome!
Have you tried compression gloves? I have the same issue. I usually end up having to shake out my hands and quit for a while. It is terrible.

I'm so glad you enjoyed the post! You have any of your work on your blog?

Oh I didn't think about that! That would help with tendinitis-like feelings?!

No I don't have anything artsy up. Haha been talking about homesteading and my chickens, mostly. Hahah

It does help! I picked up a pair at jo-ann's that they had on clearance and it has been great for when I want to stitch for long periods. My wrists don't burn or tingle nearly as much! You should give it a try and tell me what you think!
And are you on Discord?

You should absolutely post some of your work! I bet Steemit would love to see it!

I have @farmstead on discord, but I don't use it much. It really slows down my laptop... Ugh. Haha. Sometimes I use it, but really not often. :D

I use the mobile app a lot! It is pretty good. Doesn't bog down often, either.
You should hang out in PAL more often, I think you'd like it!

I'm gonna try this out, I fucking love being crafty!!! Loved your post a lot.

Hell yeah! I'm fucking pumped!

Ok, see NOW I want to try cross-stitching!

I am so happy this makes you want to cross stitch! And you should!
Go grab some supplies!
@Artsygoddess just launched a stitching channel over on the Steem-art discord channel and I can gladly help you there or on DM!

I bet you would make awesome stuff!

This is the cloth version of pixel art!

It is, indeed! I use perler bead patterns sometimes and it is just amazing!
You should try it! The 8-bit cross stitches are some of my favorite to look at!

Cool!! Good work!! You have a lot of patience

Thank you, thank you! I found that this hobby gave me even more patience! You should try it, it actually goes really fast!

First of all how the hell was I not following you shame on me and second of all this is awesome. You are awesome. And, Giggity.

You should be aSHANEd, Dayleeo! :D
I actually need to double check that I'm following you as well! I've fallen down the MSP rabbit hole and have been neglecting my Steemit duties! But I'm working on multitasking now!

I am tickled you enjoyed it! And you are awesome!

giggity giggity giggity goo, baby!

ahem Is this really a thing?

I honestly have no clue how I gapped that but I'm glad all is right with the world now, everyone can go about the rest of their day now, nothing to see here, move along move along ... ;)

I'm also a beginner! Thanks for the lesson!

Welcome to the world of awesome! If you need any help you can always hit me up! Are you on Discord?
Also, there are lots of great groups on Facebook I can direct you to for additional hive mind assistance if you'd like!

You are very nice! Thank you! I will see it.

You can take me, but you will never take my bunghole, Hm heh.... For I am the Great Cornholio Hm heh I have no bunghole, hm heh...

Ha ha ha. You are very funny.

This is the funniest thing I've seen on Steemit yet. I'm too visually impaired for cross-stitch, but maybe there's a degenerate quilting circle near me?

Man, this comment means a lot! I am so glad I was able to amuse and inform!

If you find it, please send me an invite?


Excellent tutorial! Resteemed to my 2,000 followers!

Wow! Thank you for saying it is excellent and thank you a ton for the resteem to all your followers! <3

This is awesome, my sister is so into this, I'm gonna resteemit so I can show it to her later.

Awesome! I hope she loves it!
And you found me! Yay! <3

I learned a loop start. If you call yourself 'stitchybitch.' What would you call a lab tech lady? 'testybitch'? :)

HAHAHA! YES! You should take that nickname and own it!
And I'm so glad I could teach you the loop start! <3

You're my kind of gal!
As you said "There is something to be said about being able to stab something 4,000 times and not go to jail, it is soothing as hell." Ha Ha!

I don't do as much cross stitch these days, I'm more into jewelry. Love my torch! Love to make the solder flow and melt things!

But seriously, this a funny and great introduction to cross stitch. Well written and fun!

I'm seriously thinking of poking around in my craft bins and start a pice!

Thanks for reminding me how much I like to stab stuff !

I'm so glad you found me! You sounds like my kind of people!

You should definitely pick up a WIP to poke at when the rage strikes! I am about to start a "fuck the police" piece with pretty flowers for a friend!

I am so glad this was a good introduction! The whole time I was going "wait, what about this? And they need to know that! SHIT!" so I made it reeeeally basic or everyone would be here forever!

I'll have to give you a follow and check out your stuff! And if you start a piece, you should totally post it! I love to see others getting their stitch on!

i've always wanted to try this, and to be fair, never actually looked it up because it seems hella intimidating, so this was a v clear and witty guide, thank you!

YES! My post actually served it's purpose! I am so thrilled I could show you that it isn't as hard as it looks. I put off learning it forever because it just looked like so much work.
Within a couple months I was making my own patterns with graph paper and having a blast!

I hope you really do pick it up, it is hella gratifying. Plus, you know, the stabbing thing.

Thank you for dropping by! And if you're interested in learning more, a stitching channel just opened up on the Steem-art discord! You can find me there under the same name and I'll hook you up!

That inspires me to do this again, it has been so much time! The loop start technique is very useful!!! I used to make knots, this is definitely better :D

I hope you do dust off some of your supplies! I am so glad I could inspire you to pick it back up again!
And I only learned the loop start like two months ago! My poor, poor lumpy projects!

Stitchy... I think I've tried and EPICally failed at this before...wiling to try again though! You made it look easier than I remember though... I adore your mad skillz!!

Much love, darling!
And you know if you ever need help with it I will be more than glad to lend a hand!

awesome post, money well earned.

congrats babe, this makes me want to do cross stitch

rockin' it

Thank you so much! I am really floored this hit such a high mark. You should have been there when I found out last night, I hyperventilated in discord! hahahah!
And you should give it a try, you'd make incredible things!

That is rad :) I am going to have to try to get this one together. My girlfriend has been wanting one of Empire Records. Have you seen weestiches? They are on Etsy and pretty adorable (or so I have been told! )

You should definitely try! And making your own patterns is so easy! All you need is some graph paper!
I think I have, but I'll have to go take a look!

My sweet little sister needs to see this post. Be right back.

I'd love to know what she thought!

This is brilliant! Cross stitch is one of the few crafts I haven't tried and I so want to now!

You absolutely should!
And if you need any help or advice, my DMs are always open!

Thank you for the offer! I actually have one of the rings (?) and needle and thick thread, would need to buy some of the fabric though!

If you have a super walmart in your area, they carry an off brand fabric for a lot cheaper than the big box craft stores!
I look forward to seeing what you make if you start up!

I am Groot! :D

Thank you Groot! Your kind words have really touched me. You're right, cross stitch is a great hobby!

And I'm wonderful, thank you for asking!

I am Groot! :D

You bet! I would be absolutely honored to teach Rocket! And your concerns are valid, but if he can tinker with all those wires, I am pretty sure he could handle a needle!

You're such a stellar conversationalist and so eloquent! Please comment any time!

  ·  3 years ago Reveal Comment

Thank you, I'll take a look!
Thanks for visiting mine!


Wow! You got some fire power in them needles! Thanks for the lesson. 🐓🐓