How to Fuck: Fucking Lessons for Beginners (~Mature~ Reader Discretion Advised)
Hi, how the fuck are you today? My fucking name is @nonameslefttouse the fucking writer him the fuck self. Fuck, I'm here today to teach you fuckers a little fucking lesson. Now sit the fuck down, get some fucking popcorn and fucking relax.
Fucking is not the easiest fucking thing to do. Many mother fuckers will get all fucking pissed off with you if you start fucking around. I'd ask those fuckers to leave the fuck now if this is not you're fucking thing as to avoid further fucking damage. I truly mean no fucking harm to you or your fucking beliefs. The last fucking thing I need is a fucking lawsuit. Read this fucking disclaimer if there are any fucking problems. As for the rest of you friendly fuckers, fuck on my friends, fuck on.
Fucking the fucking fuckers should be taken seriously. Never fuck around or you will be told to fuck off. Get to the fucking point. One fucking day you will remember this inforfuckingmation and be like:
Oh fuck yeah! I remember that.
Never forget to use your fucking memory. It's the most important fucking thing to any potential fucker when attempting to fuck. Fuck the fucking fuckers gently.
Fuckers caught fucking around with the fucking shit will be fucked. Think forward while fucking or you will get fucked.
Getting fucked is not something people like to fuck with. They leave that shit the fuck alone. In other cases getting fucked could be the greatest fucking thing. It's all a matter of fucking perspective. Learn which fuck is for you.
It is always best to first agree to fuck before you fuck. Simply ask, "Would you be interested in fuck today?" You will get your fucking answer. The fucking answer might not be the fucking answer you'd like to fucking hear, but you better do what they fucking say. Fucking abuse is about the worst fucking thing any fucker can do.
Fucking Conclusion
Once you fucking know how to fuck properly, many fuckers from around the fucking world will come to see your fuck. They will enjoy your fucking company. They will want to fuck all day and into the fucking night. It'll be fuck this, fuck that, fuck these, fuck those and fuck them all. Now would you look at that fucking clock?
~ I was a little hesitant on pressing the post button. I thought about it a lot. I decided to censor the parts that I felt were offensive. I hope I didn't miss anything. We should be able to get through this difficult moment, together. Besides, there's far worse in store.
Something to help with the calming process.
Are We Okay Now?
I hope so, because I'm simply not going to allow this article:
...to fall into the depths of Steemit's sometimes overly short attention span. I've updated it to answer a very important question that came up as well.
I don't mean to annoy people, I'm not promoting that article for profit. I'd like it to be shared, passed around. If people would even go so far as printing a copy before they head to the grocery store. Maybe leave a few laying around. Maybe ask a few store managers how much progress they've made so far. I insist the added efforts will be rewarding to many people on this planet. The answer, is simple.
If you're new to this blog and feeling a bit confused, it's okay. What I've done here today is a simple demonstration. Many who saw the title of this article were put off instantly. Many who clicked and began reading became offended, started to judge me accordingly. This is fine. I value your beliefs, you do not need to put up with things you don't like. When you look through the windows and begin to see beyond the surface, there you will find the hidden meaning. If nobody catches on, if people continue to remain superficial in nearly everything they stand for, they will continue to starve.
More confused? Read that article if you have not already. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make every article I write here about the same thing over and over. It's annoying, isn't it? Doing the same thing over, and over... causing people so much pain, never changing.
See what I did there? Thank you for your time and more importantly, your open mind.
There seems to be something wrong with my helmet. Do you keep saying different forms of the word "flower"? Because that is what I am hearing. I may need to get Dennis to take a look at this thing. Have a nice flowering day!
Well look who the flower showed up! Lord-flowering-Vader! What the flower are you flowering doing here? Have you come to flowering choke us all with your flowering space magic?
Don't flowering tempt me you flowering mother flowerer!
What the flower is that flowerer doing behind you? Flowering you with his flowering fingers? Flowering Lord Vader. Always getting flowered somehow while still flowering trying to flower the rebel princess. IT'S YOUR FLOWERING DAUGHTER, YOU FLOWERER!
Now just what in the flower are you folks flowering on about now?
We're just flowering talking about flowering up some mother flowerers. Do you have a flowering problem with that flowerer?
Well don't let me flowering stop you.
I just flowering picked this flowering thing flowering now. Flowering enjoy, flowerers.
Well fuck, this fucking post took a fucking hard left turn.
Just three lines in and I was crying from laughing so hard. Following you now.
Fuckin eh my friend, fuckin EH!
Obviously, They certainly Love it. Ha ha ha
LOLed so hard. Thank you :)
Fucking laughter is the best fucking medicine. Thank you!
Well...if I dare fuckin' say my fuckin' self...that was very well fuckin' put! BTW, I didn't hesitate a fuckin' bit to hit the fuckin' POST button...it was my fuckin' pleasure!
and a happy Fuck You to you too! Thanks for the fucking support, I fucking love it!
WTF?
F, F indeed.
Flagged for making Steem look like a low-life trash site. It isn't even written well, isn't funny, nor entertaining.
Whales are you trying to self-destruct Steem by upvoting this crap?
On a serious note. Offending you was not my intention. The intention was clearly stated in the article. I'm sorry about the inconvenience which I may have caused. I didn't know you would be around. I honestly did not know you existed until now. In the future I will be more careful around you. I hope you could eventually see past what you do not like. I hope at some point you read the entire article. I've made adjustments for you. It's your choice to make adjustments for me. I truly am sorry and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
My first fucking flag, thank you very much.
I think there's a place on here for humor. Not everyone will find the same things funny, and those people can use the mute button.
It's fine everyone. I said this would happen in the article. Did I push a few "limits"? Possibly. Did I do it for a good cause? I'm confident we'll be able to get past this.
@anonymint. Your "low-life" comment still bothers me. Not so much on a personal level. It's more about how you've treated those who did enjoy this article. I've taken it upon myself to do a bit of research.
They say, "When you point your finger at someone, you have three pointing straight back at yourself." I've known of this concept for a very long time. I looked at your blog. You have smut and swears mixed in with some kind of nonsensical money talk. You do not follow anyone, therefore you're not here to engage the community. You're here to simply talk your talk, walk your walk, take your money and leave. I don't need to call you names. You've shown your true colors.
For someone who acts like an expert in your field, I'm incredibly shocked to learn you do not read the fine print.
In the future, I expect you to be professional, even if you disagree with something you see. Nobody likes a person who throws a hissy fit and calls down everyone else who enjoys what you do not enjoy.
If you truly think Steemit should only be about the boring shit you talk about, this place will fail. You do not have any business sense nor do I have any reason to believe you conduct yourself in a professional manner.
I'm very disappointed in you. I think you can do better. Unfortunately, you're fired.
you're such a self righteous prick ... you keep bitching about other people's use of words, while you're being a complete prick yourself
If anyone has any issues with the way you've been treated today, I shall direct them to this conversation. What I sometimes do here is for entertainment purposes only. You are now speaking to me, the writer, producer, proprietor of Two Insanity Productions, a few other things and a very reasonable man. I've asked you to leave. If you choose not to leave, you will stay here. I'll check up on your progress on November 11, 2016. Please, have a good day.
@nonameslefttouse wrote:
You still don't seem to comprehend that the issue at hand is the system which enables super whales to allocate the resources of all of us who are invested in Steem. Thus it forces me to invested in what ever @berniesanders does because his footprints are massive compared to us minnows and dolphins. Thus the poorly designed system pits my vested interest against your microcosmic audience.
Then get the hell out if this isn't your thing!
Comedy sells out stadiums.
Comedy makes billions for the entertainment industry.
Comedians make people happy.
Comedy is the driving force for such great websites as Youtube, theCHIVE, Cracked, Break, eBaumsWorld, FunnyorDIE, Cheezburger, QuickMeme, CollegeHumor.
Would you like me to name every rich funny person now too?
Are you on glue?
Are you capable of speaking to anyone without being a passive aggressive dick?
I don't care what you think.
Stop whining.
Have a good day.