Living up to the "picture" in my mind vs. Living in the moment...plus Trauma Healing
I was talking to a friend today - she is up against the realization that she has been living her entire life through having a picture in her mind of how things are supposed to be and then not being able to make life look like the picture, so therefore, never being satisfied.
this is a picture that my dad took of my mom, which I hand-colored, and my father's children. My sister is now homeless in her car, my brother is a hoarder and the other bro is rather well-balanced apparently, but allows his twin sis to be homeless, but this does look like the perfect American Family no?
My friend is doing an exercise now because I asked her to look back into her childhood to the first time she did this - it is taking her to a moment of shock and world-view-transformation when I believe she was
molested by a babysitter, and her mind broke off and she stopped connecting her feelings to her pictures - like her mind decided "If I can't see it it did not really happen" or something - and this attempt by the ego to cope with this untenable childhood event, has reeked havoc on her life because she lives her life through seeing these pictures and trying to make them happen,
while her feeling self (the dark moon) operates completely separately and takes her in different directions and derails her - both have to have their say, but they became disconnected in that moment of violence.
I have done the same thing in my life - I have had similar acts of violence purpetrated on me as a young child and have split into different perceptive entities so that I was once totally split as she is...
And people wonder why we can't seem to "get it together". When your mind is split like this - you just can't. You make terrible decisions and you can never live in the present moment where the Truth is - where God is... instead you cope - you get high - you avoid - and your life goes to shit.
I suggested she write with her left hand to get some more information about the first time this happened.
Yes, writing with your left hand is a tool to use to find out what the right brain knows. The right brain is the one that has the access to the Power - it is the one connected to the Higher Self - which is probably why indoctrinated teachers try to teach us to be right-handed. Left-handed people are more brain balanced. Right-handed people have to breathe through their left nostril to pull oxygen into their their right-brain and write with their left hand...on a regular basis...to have access to creativity and to be able to know holistically - not just use flimsy logic.
Writing with her left hand, she suddenly has access to all these weird feelings...She remembers various babysitters - and the feelings she had when she got dropped off at their houses - she remembers their names - Keith and Louann - she felt safe and protected and loved at their house... then there's Donna and Bryan - she feels weird and yukky when she thinks of them - but Donna is her mom's best friend - it does not make sense - so her child's mind has decided that it must be her (my friend's) fault - if Bryan touched her as a little girl and Donna is her mom's best friend then SHE (my friend) must have done something wrong -
and therefore she herself is BAD therefore her whole life since that moment has been stuck there - she can't trust her feelings of yuk because her mother - the person she depended on for food and shelter - was best friend's with Donna and Bryan - therefore she has the "yuk" feeling which is her INTUITION and she mistrusts it - and goes against it time and time again...
Yup. This is what we do. So, I have her writing this stuff down with her left hand and calling me to share it with me. I am not a therapist! NO WAY! I am not charging her for this! NO WAY! - I just did it myself - a while back and I know how to do it - I figured a way to do it - I used art and writing with my left hand - and then some other techniques that I learned along the way -
First, you have to sit with it for a while. You have to really consider how these old ideas permeated your pscyhe and shaped your life. Everything you have done has been because of these ideas you formulated over a traumatic experience long ago - in fact -you don't even know who you really ARE because your whole life has just been in reaction to these cemented misconceptions... WOW. It kind of takes the wind out of your sails...
Mark Passio goes into detail about how the brain imbalance is foisted upon us by the trauma - we either become left-brained or right-brained and the result is brain damage because our Neo cortex does not function properly...we are POLARIZED.
So, sit with it all for a while and consider the magnitude of the situation... and then, after thinking about it, and talking about it and seeing it's effects - ask the ALL to remove it and ask to be changed into a different person - the person you were meant to be.
And see what happens... of course, if you have caused harm to others- you will have make reparations for that, in order for real change to take place.
That is some intresting stuff about trauma's. I have some problems myself and i keep telling myself to not focus ona picture of how my perfect situation or future would look like but i try to live very hard in 'the now'. I've read a book called 'the power of the now' and it makes me happier to live in the now and accept what is rather then what should be. Thanks for your post I found it very interesting. Steem on!
I am glad it was helpful - I suspect many are dealing with this now - it's good to have ways to deal with it.
This is a great post. Very helpful.
Thank you @rebelmeow - I am glad...
What a powerful technique, @in2itiveart. Thank you for sharing it, and quite beautifully, at that! I rejoice with you and your friend, for your breakthroughs.
thank you @erikaharris - I hope to pass on the helpful techniques which have been occulted from the people, so that we can evolve and raise our consciousness and win back our freedom...