Beastly Budgerigar

girlbeforemirror (66)in #art • 8 years ago (edited)

This is my latest bird drawing.

I have Ornithophobia - Fear of birds.

I have tasked myself with exposure to images of birds and reproducing them, ahead of close encounters with them on a farm, in the way too immediate future. In a few weeks time.

I found looking at pictures of Budgies last night extremely difficult.

My brain responds in such a way that I can almost feel them, and hear them. Fluttering and squawking, and clawing and biting.

And those beady eyes!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not psychotic, well not yet anyway, but by the end of this task I might be teetering. I'm not hallucinating. But the visual memories associated with my fears are so strong that I suppose I have some sort of flashback.

Drawing this seemingly innocuous creature was a lot harder than I thought it would be.

Vastly different to my usual loose scribbly doodle style of drawing, I think my distress resulted in my producing a very constrained image.

It is a very boring image. But benign as it is, I have to say I feel incredibly uneasy even looking at it.

I came across the image below while searching for photos to traumatise myself with. I can very much relate to this little girl. She reminds me of myself when my mother gave me a Budgie for my 6th birthday, to cure my bird issues.

Worst birthday present ever!

Source - budgiecare.org

Thanks for checking out my self traumatising drawings.

For my next task I will be using @azurejaspers entry from the recent Steemit Photo Challenge - Reflections, as inspiration for a duck / Goose drawing.

The farm we are visiting has a marshy duck and goose island. Last time we went there I freaked out, and let my children go across with other people to feed them. I'm not sure if I will manage to go across this time, but I would really like to try, and at least improve on the panicked escape I displayed last time. It nearly resulted in me falling into the stinky water as I ran across the rickety makeshift bridge.