Dating women, why this topic? abstinence is overrated episode 01

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman ~Honore de Balzac

Glad to open the talk with the above amazing quote. The saying might have been overstated but its relevance can not be overemphasized. My good friend @sircharles asked me a question in my introduction post which inspired me to make a write up in a related topic. While this article is not exactly an answer to his question it encapsulates it.

His question was about why I chose to write my first book in the subject of dating. For the benefit of those who did not read my introduction, I'm an author and I published my first book on dating in 2016: WHEN YOU WANT TO DATE ANY GIRL

As captured in the preface, I came from a practicing Islamic religious home and usually topics of this nature was to be abstained from. It was often an abomination to bring any topic related to sex. I know perhaps our parents thought they were protecting us from vulgar tongues but were they?

Unfortunately even today we still see this in many Ghanaian homes where parents don't want to discuss sex related issues with their teenagers. These rather breeds ignorance of the topic and at the same time widening the gap between parents and their teenagers.

I had an experience one day as walked across one school, I glimpsed on a group of teenage girls behaving in a way the drew my suspicions. I went closer and I realized they were showing each other the size of their breast and other things I can't say here.
Initially I thought I should just go away but another idea propped me to confront them. I went closer and when they saw me they quickly kept on their cloths and pretended as if they were playing. I called out to them signalling them to come. They quickly responded because they were not sure if I had seen what they wouldn't want me to see.

The conversation I had with them made me realize that most times it is better to have such talks with the children so they can understand the responsibility that comes with it rather than shying away from it.

This general lack of education leaves teenagers and young adults confused and left alone to learn all by themselves. Young guys therefore resort to information from their peers and from the internet. Why am I particular about guys?
Well, in our society it is a norm that guys have to make the approach and all that the girl have to do is sit back and say 'yes' or 'no' or in most cases "I will think about it".

I was inspired by my own experiences, I grew up rather shy and what others would term 'antisocial'. When I went to senior High School I had to conform to my peers demand of getting a girlfriend even though I had no idea how to go about it. It was easy for some of my peers to meet a girl for the first time and propose love but for me even a 'hi' was a problem.

The general truth is that most guys will rather wrestle a bull to death than to say "I love you" to a girl.

Image source

I was left confused, not just because of the peer pressure but because I knew it was an inevitability. I was not going to be single forever so why not just get over this mesmerizing fear?

So it was one Saturday when we had the chance to leave campus, I had made my mind up to try it out. As I walked off the main road towards my family residence I saw this girl coming, hmmm, I don't have a way to express what was going on within me. As soon as I made my mind to confront the girl it was as if they had plugged my guts out of me.

My automatic mode managed to stop the girl before she could pass, well, she waited for me to approach her. This was the testing moment, even as I stood my legs wobbled under my own weight. I am sure my conscious self was gone.
I manged to carry myself to her position but what? was I suddenly so dumb? where was my tongue? I could not even hear clearly.

It is not as if the lady was dead gorgeous as to cause this catastrophic reaction within me but I could not understand what was going on as at then. I am sure the lady realized what was going on so she helped out by starting to walk away slowly........

I think I should continue this story in another post!
This has just become a series!
Hope you find it necessary to follow the story and see how it went and the other experiences that led e to who I am today ( a relationship expert)