Hi Raviyanda - this is an example of what I mean about expressing emotion. In the other drawing, the figure was flat or emotionless while your drawing of your daughter expresses her concentration.
There are only two things on this drawing that bother me: the necklace and her hand. The necklace appears two dimensional - not as apparent on the top image but is distracting on the close up.

Hands are an issue that even Leonardo struggle with. This illustration taken from Pinterest shows various stages of drawing hands.
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Ironically with the simplicity of your drawing perhaps you spent two much time on the hand. Once again sometimes less is more.

Also again I don't want to give offence. I am untrained in art so take my observations lightly.