BEASTLY TALES

THE IGNORAMUS

Boris Baselbroke was a real dumb cluck.
He was always regularly getting stuck,
In some such proverbial mire and muck.
For instance he would loudly expound,
On any subject that could be easily found,
While he surfed the internet.
How obtuse can one get?
Well, Boris can, and yet,
Sometimes he could surprise,
By acting just a little wise!
For example, he recently surprised his aunt,
By behaving the role of a dilettante.
Yes, they were discussing fine art,
When he really took the lead in the part.
He could appreciate some arty things,
With the scant knowledge the internet brings.
But, despite this, he knew very well,
That most folk considered him a dumbbell.
In other words, deficient in mind,
And on the lower register you’d find.

His Irish friend Seamus, did not mince words,
Calling him an ignoramus, yes, for the birds,
Alternatively idiot is another word.
That, when applied to Boris wouldn’t be absurd.
Yes, it would do very nicely, and,
Apply to Boris almost precisely,
Indeed implying that he was dumb.
There being no depth’s of knowledge to plumb.
“Simpleton” could go on his curriculum vitae,
Along with behaviour consistent with an excess of Mai Tai.
Yes, spruiking so much bunk,
Giving the impression that he was drunk.
Boris would be the first to admit he was stupid,
Particularly in matters concerning cupid.
Surely, with both feet on the ground,
Girls would, around Boris quickly surround.
Which was decidedly vexing
If he was now solar plexing
Sometimes he seemed to be practising somnambulism,
But between brain and head there was a schism
And so, in order this balance not to usurp,
Just maintain the thought he’s a stupid twerp.
Unbelievably Boris was now very famous,
For being such a total ignoramus.