BEASTLY TALES

HUMBLE PIE

Basel Bumble, ever so humble,
With the sin of pride, he never would stumble.
He’d see something cheap, in the shops,
And, at that item, is where he made stops.
“Good enough for the loiks o’me!”
“They say I’m a simpleton, so simple it must be.”
“Leave all them others for them fancy folk,”
His behaviour, of course became a bit of a joke.
His clothes were all, mostly worn out,
He looked pretty rough, when out and about,
Some people, in fact, thought him a tramp.
Looking as though unable to buy a postage stamp.
But, in fact, Basel had assets galore,
Along with enough money to buy a department store.
Frugality was what, in life, he had learned,
Following the maxim, “A penny saved is a penny earned.”

He liked the saying, “A stitch in time, saves nine,”
And with his sewing repairs, help he would decline.
“The early bird catches the worm,”
This adage made Basel’s tummy squirm.
But he understood the point about being punctual,
Although he thought worm catching to be unfunctional.
“Simplicity, that’s the theme of my life.”
He’d kept things simple, by not having a wife.
Which meant that there were no offspring either,
Only buying what he needed, when off to a shop to buy there,
But, while things were simple, they were lonely too.
Solitude was something that he’d come to rue!
So, he decided to step out with a girl that he saw,
Every time he went past the Cafeteria door,
Her name, he’d discovered, was Maggie Morose,
He’d be on best behaviour, not to step on her toes,
Figuratively speaking, that is to say,
Not wanting to startle her into dropping her tray.
The first thing he did was to buy new duds,
The cheapest on offer, not trendy for studs.
He then made an unaccustomed stop,
At the High Street barber shop.
“See what you can do about the grey,”
“Nothing pricey now, not much I can pay.”

Then, fully refurbished, and fitted out,
He went to the Cafeteria, somewhat in doubt
Whether Maggie Morose would say “yes” to a date,
Or whether her “NO” would show it to be too late.
Maggie had just finished serving for lunch.
When Basel approached, jangling his keys in a bunch.
“Oh, it’s you again, I’ve seen you what’s more,”
“Everyday passing by, ogling lewdly by the door.”
“I don’t know what game you do have in mind,”
“But my boyfriend and brother are here, forces combined,”
“So you’d better go out, the way you came in,”
“This is a nice cafe’, we don’t want a din!”
Well, you could have knocked Basel over with a feather!
He thought, “I’m off course now, in heavy weather!”
And so he retreated, out to the street,
Stepping softly to the pavement in his new-shod feet.
The saying, “A bird in that hand is worth two in the bush,” came to his mind.
Thought he, “I’ve no birds at all, and I’m in a bit of a bind!”