I am much like you, with a lot of anger right below the surface. And like you, I've put a lot of thought into how to handle this, but even most importantly why to handle this. It NEEDS to be handled, because in one way or another it will end up coming out and burning the people who are in closest proximity. Your reason should be to make sure that it is not your immediate family members. That is my reason, and why I go to private counseling sessions each week despite hating them ever so much. But counseling is mostly just a conversation with someone who is skilled enough to look out for warning signs in what you are saying and point them out for you. A good friend who is patient and invested in your well being might do the same. I have one of those as well, a combat buddy, and we call each other every couple weeks even though we never have anything to say of any substance: but what we do is vent a lot about our personal struggles to each other. I do the same thing with my sister. I probably talk with her the most frequently, and being lifelong best friends we know that there is no topic that is off the table, and neither of us is ever worried about saying too much or sharing any opinion. TALK MORE TO PEOPLE I guess is what this boils down to.
Next, stay away from all substances. This sounds very Mormon, but hear me out. I smoked and drank coffee and would tell myself I couldn't even begin to handle the day until I had my stimulants. In reality, the stimulants were just a distraction that kept me from focusing on things that I needed to focus on. I am a markedly calmer person when I am not smoking just because there is not that part of my brain always saying "this is getting pretty stressful don't you need a cigarette right now?" I know that my wife was a much calmer person before I started drinking coffee regularly with her, but I don't think she remembers that, and is now convinced that life is 100% not feasible without coffee, which if that's not an addiction I don't know what is. I've never been a drinker but I think this has mostly to do with not hanging out around people who drink. And I am sure it could have immense effects on temper regulation if I did drink.