RAINING EYES (An Original Poem)
Tears fall from
heaven outside,
I watch them with lacklustre eyes;
they remind me of
a summers night in pain
with raindrops on my eyes.
I look to the skies
watching the stars
spell our names,
red fountain on my skin
starts to burst;
this is my temptation.
"Ding-Dong" rings the clock;
can you remember
the sound the water made?
Ticking drops
on a beautiful night;
the wind gently stroke my hair.
~My window starts
to cry once again;
another temptation...
The church organ
muting away my pain.
Another broken
easter egg;
tranquil fields of green,
wind breaking waves~
and I am back
watching my window cry.
Ding Dong :)
Congrats on getting the website Sergey, your work deserves a nice home, and it looks really good so far. You may know about domain forwarding but if you don't, let me know and I'll help you set one up. Something like www.serejandmyself.com or www.sergeysimanovsky.com could redirect to your SiteBuilder longer url homepage.
I checked and while simanovsky.com is taken, the .net, org and info extensions of your surname are all available
I will contact you via DM on rocket chat =)
Thanks
Very enveloping poem. I felt a tiny cringe as I read the line "red fountain on my skin begins to burst, this is my temptation." The first thing that popped in my head was how people cut themselves, expressing their in depth pain and frustration. The Windows crying and the weeping skies in your poem paint a very saddening ambience and environment that really develops the emotions you convey in your selective storytelling. Thoroughly enjoyed this piece and its melancholy. Upvoted looking forward to your next poem.
Well... you got it spot on 100%, the imagery too.
Thanks a lot for the amazing compliment
I'm glad I was able to correctly interpret what you were aiming to convey. You're most welcome.
Beautiful words. I also write poems.
Sure, I will gladly check it out!
Thank you for sharing yourself. Lots of emotion and tangible feelings revealed. Is this also your photograph? It's awesome.
Thanks; yes, it is me at my day time work (well my ex, day time work)
this is a great image-
watching the stars
spell our names,
I often seen the stars as a game of connect the dots
I think this was more or less my point =)
You know, I write poems but there is something about appreciating another's piece of work. I am very visual; you're definately great at painting pictures for me. Keep it up - great talent!
Thank you linzo, for the kind words
Wonderful piece! This is my favorite of any that I've read from you. It's bare bones, great imagery, pure emotion. The .gif is paired perfectly with the piece as well. Great job, @serejandmyself!
Thanks Eric, ironically i am less fond of this one myself =)
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