Chronicles of Alan: Army days (featuring @awgbibb as author)

Just to set the tone on something, I see like a cat in the dark and could drive a car with the lights off, no problem, also, to this day I am an extremely light sleeper and get away with about 3-4 hours sleep a night. Also, I was extremely physically fit.

Called up for compulsory National Service when I was 17.

Sent to Bloemfontein 1 SSB Regiment for my first 3 months, very miserable about this, and was probably, very unfriendly.

Guy's in my Bungalow decided to play a trick on me and sneak up and turn my bed over while I was sleeping (I assume)

Saw them coming, with a Big Guy named Teens coming towards the foot of the bed, pulled back both legs and let him have it, he did a somersault. This pretty much stopped the invasion of my space. Problem, Teens was a boxer, of no small reputation, already lined up for Camp sports day. He thought I had hit him!

He announced to the Camp Commander, that he had never been hit harder than by me.

Despite animated protests (they thought I was modest, not something I suffer from) I was signed up to be on the boxing squad. This then required a lot of practice, which Teens assisted me with.

Any contravention of what the PF's (Permanent Force ) wanted you to do would result in Running to fetch a leaf from a Tree on a distant hill, or lots of Push-ups, something I did not find difficult.

I was soon given the nickname of Dr. No (as I pretty much didn't want to be in the army).

As I could already drive anything . I was recruited to assist with driving instruction on armored vehicles, namely The Saracen Personnel Carrier a 10 seater unit.

I was a minor hero one day I was sitting on top with one leg on either side of the flap where the driver looks through. An electrical Short caused a fire to start inside, the driver (Brett) started screaming, I slapped him in the face and told him to stop. " Everybody out the Back Door and close it" said I. I slid in through the flap, shut it, and beat out the flames with a seat cushion. (All flaps closed meant the fire wasn't getting much Oxygen) When it was out I opened the back doors, to be greeted by 2 fire extinguishers in my face.

Brett was very grateful and offered to steal me a motor bike when we got out of the army! (that was his profession)

One night , not sleeping, I ran around the Parade Ground, a Guard in the Watch Tower shouts Halt and points an R1 at me. I shout it's me, Alan, I heard a bang and dropped to the ground, I swear I heard the bullet go past. He shouts "It's not me, I just dropped my rifle"

At that precise moment, someone had set off a Thunderflash in the camp! Remarkable Timing!

I will leave my 2nd Armored Car Story for another post.

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