But, also living in the moment requires letting go of the past, but if there's a history of patterns in relating that have not worked for me I might also want to make informed observations.

Good point. My experience is that throughout time, your learned lessons are imprinted in your energetic patterns, so either you don't attract to yourself, anymore, the old patterns or, when such come into your life you identify them immediately (a strong sense of irritation for example) and choose otherwise.