RE: "The spark has gone. Since I gained weight my boyfriend doesn't want to sleep with me. How can we solve our relationship problems?"
Gaining weight, whether for lack of attention, physical causes, mental causes or others, is a serious problem, especially when someone feels bad about it. About a decade ago I took a medication that, combined, with other physical factors (and the fact I was suffering from an undiagnosed autoimmune disease) caused me to gain 17kg in 1.5 years. I haven't been able to lose all that weight since, and it deeply hurt my sense of self as the person I am, versus the person I supposedly used to be. Even now, more than 10 years later, I still surprise myself sometimes, looking in the mirror and seeing this stranger.
I think that in my case, I was lucky enough to have a partner that respected and loved me (and still does) despite this terrible period I went through, and he still is attracted to me, even when I have troubles finding myself attractive (and it happens, what can you do).
I try to fight this weight off, more for my health's sake than anything else, and while sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, one thing is certain - support from your significant other helps. But you (or I) are the one who has to make the steps to feel better with yourself. To learn to love yourself even in your new state. Then things may change for the better.
I surely second that.
I will also add, that fighting extra weight, or fighting anything actually, doesn't help. It only reinforces the situation. As the saying goes "what you resist, persist". The "method" to change a situation is to accept it and breathe it in. It may sound vague, and justly so, as it bypasses the mind. You see, the mind tries to fix. All the time and everything. Physical condition, however, is the reflection of inner consciousness. The body has a wisdom of its own and it can perform miracles if we only let it and stay out of the way.
I appreciate the honest sharing. Thank you 🙂
I'm afraid that in my case it is "fighting", after all. I have RA, which makes is difficult to get up in the morning sometimes, not to mention living healthy. Every energy drop brings with it many other things, like need to eat carbs to even be able to function (yes, I'm aware of the fact it doesn't help, go convince your body that this is the wrong thing to do), or simply sit/lie still somewhere, for most of the day, gazing at the screen and trying to focus.
This is a fight, or should I say a battle. Not just for losing weight, but also for maintaining a healthy or reasonable lifestyle.
While physical conditions do have an emotional or psychological factors, some of them are just that - physical. An autoimmune disease may erupt for emotional reasons, but once it's there, you're stuck with it, no matter how happy or mentally healthy you are. It's a problem, and it's an ever-lasting battle. But one can hope :-)
For obvious reasons I can't go into details. For lack of a direct contact as well as not having the knowledge regarding the whole picture and the people involved.
Some health issues are indeed more physically grounded. Especially in children. But I do stand in my argument that eventually health issues must be addressed from the psychic level.
Generally speaking, the immune system is often out of balance when the personify fights battles which are not its.