Eye Contact

Hi, I want to share something with all of you today that has helped me immensely in my life. Eye contact, at first it seems like such an unimportant thing that everyone does. Humans are very reliant on visual aides and visual stimulation, video games, movies and tv are all entertaining due to their visuals and the stories they tell.

When I was in my teens I really struggled to get girls to like me, all my friends seemed to have girlfriends but not me. At first I thought it was because I was ugly, or I didn't have the coolest clothes or maybe my voice wasn't manly enough. The truth was girls/women did not find me attractive because they couldn't trust me and felt no attraction towards me at a subliminal level. All that changed when I started listening to David DeAngelo's body language course. He talked extensively on how humans mating rituals are very similar to animals. Body language, inner game and other nuances that I had no idea existed suddenly did. Within a few weeks I had three girls who were texting me and I even started dating one of them.

The key thing that I learned from that course is that attraction isn't a choice, and there are certain things dominant individuals do that passive one's don't. The main one is maintain eye contact, by looking away before the other person does is basically submitting or showing uninterest. I never realized before but when I would first meet a girl I liked, I would look at them, their face, their body but I never would look them in the eyes. Once I started looking women in the eyes, and smiling and communicating that I am confident by not being afraid. I instantly noticed a change in female behavior.

I did notice however that when I looked a women in the eyes and tried to not look away, AKA not creepy staring without blinking. It was very intense, and I found myself feeling butterflies in my stomach and a lot of self doubt came out at first. When you look someone in the eyes, and they look back at you, everything you are self conscious about comes up to your brain, it can be uncomfortable. It takes practice, when walking around the mall or streets just look into other people's eyes for a few seconds as they walk by. You don't need to talk to them because I feel as if eye contact says so much more then what our words say. As practice, I would calmly look into women's eyes and listen to them and if I found them attractive I would smile. If they smiled back at me and looked me in the eyes as well, there was an intense feeling of attraction and almost every single women I had this small, subtle communication with became a romantic interest.

I just want to share that if you are a male or a female, try using more eye contact, see if you notice a change in behavior from others. It obviously won't change everything, and if you do it wrong it won't help, but it will definitely get you a stronger connection in conversations. Give it a try.

Thanks.