Lumpini park walk and blog My Actifit Report Card: January 3 2019
Not much to say. i made it to thailand and I've been walking around a bunch. I walked to Lumpini park and walked around.
the hostel I'm staying at has a pub crawl. they are all leaving now. ive been depressed all day. it's weird to be lonely but still not want to attempt to socialize. I think the hardest thing is pretending to be happy and having to also pretend to be normal. I can't force myself to do it anymore. I can't pretend to find things interesting. im just dead inside. it makes life really difficult because I want to not be alone but doing all the things I'm supposed to do to have fun just makes me more depressed. and people can't understand why you aren't happy. What's also difficult is you can't talk to anyone about life no one can relate and you can't relate to them. how is a person supposed to pretend to give a shit enough to be with others? i really wish I was different. I fucking hate myself. 
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