Do you ever just not feel like doing it? That’s me today, with a tone to go with it. What I hate most about feeling like this is everyone trying to cheer me up! It’s a feeling not a mindset people, like an ache that is undefinable.
Started today with my usual dog walk with Jerry and Twitter Live Stream, managed to record a vlog though my tone was all off. Tried to record a #OneLoveDTube community update and I just couldn’t muster the positive long enough to get through the details. I can talk from the heart sure but reiterate details about the developments of our community, didn’t feel right so forget it for now.
Work was the usual dance, long and drawn out. I tried to divide to push the day along but we were waiting on numbers to know what to produce. One of those days, woke up with deep thoughts about “ruthless love” and my mental state devolved from there. My coworkers seem to think that getting me to talk helps in some way, sure I become animated and momentarily my spirits may lift. It lasts only for that moment to which after I feel the fall back into depression with out any slow progression in my attempts to bottle my “feeling”. I’d rather just stay low not talk and not go through the consistent ups and downs caused by someone trying to “cheer me up”. Made it through the day, left on time after cleaning a mixer.
After work I sat, nearly an hour in my car staring off with keys in hand. Yea it’s one of those days, that feeling doesn’t leave me be once it starts. Once home I took Jerry for a walk across the road to pee and was glad he headed straight back to the house.
I know I’m in an off space when my dog doesn’t want anything to do with me, no wag or wiggle. Nothing not even a cuddle!
And a little lyric to finish off my “feeling”
Just one of those days
living like a freight train
First one to complain
Leaves with a blood stain
On their minds
Cause I’m a maniac
I’m the first to crack
And I’m never gonna come back
It’s just one of them days