The Beauty of Letting Go, Being Forgiving and Accepting Others
Let it go, let it go
Don't hold it back anymore
Let it go let it go
Each time I hear this song, there is only one thing I can think of that I should let go of- grudges and regrets.
All of us have been through times when we have been hurt by someone or have made mistakes that led to grave consequences. Betrayal, financial setbacks, not being able to sustain a relationship that was dear to you, making hefty decisions or even well thought out ones that didn't produce the desired results- we have all been through that. And all of this is a part of life.
Life is definitely not a cozy bed strewn with roses. Yes you do come across beautiful gardens and serene valleys on this journey but it is not permanent. Nothing in life except for change is constant. Change is bound to happen and is inevitable which id why we have seasons and weathers, ups and downs, lows and highs. All of this is what life is made up of and no matter how hard you try to go forward without hiccups, a few are likely to strike you.
In all such times when things take unexpected and unfortunate twists and when we feel hell has broken loose, we feel hurt, pained and bad. The next step? We are quite likely to hold grudges and regrets and efforts them with time.
Regrets and Holding on to Grudges Only Bring Us Pain and Misery
Most of the time when we hold a regret, we don't even realize it and unknowingly we keep nurturing it. With deep seated anger and the habit of slipping into negative thinking, we put in our best efforts to grow that seed into a plant. These grudges only grow bigger with time and never let us rest. I know this because like a lot of others, I too had a really bad habit of holding on to painful memories and honestly meditating on them for way too long, often to the extent that they used to drive me nuts.
I had a clash with my mother once and every day like a religious ritual, I sued to think of everything she said to me and how her words hurt me and let them cut me deeper with each passing moment. Honestly, it felt like I was stabbing my heart with a super-sharp knife as slowly as possible and that brought me a pain I can never describe in words. So for about a month, I stayed in misery and used to think about the fight I had with her for hours each day especially when I lied down to sleep each night. The result was terrible. I became an insomniac soon and couldn’t sleep for days. Not only that, but I also grew more irritable and frustrated with each passing day. I got into fights with almost everyone- almost all loved ones. I also noticed that my loved ones started avoiding me because of my bad temper. My baby was about 9 months old then and taking care of him had become more difficult and exhausting for me mainly because my mind was chaotic at that time.
Forgiveness to the Rescue
As I became more accepting than before, I realized that the conflict I had with my mother was nothing but an egoistic issue. I wasn’t willing to accept her viewpoint and she wasn’t doing me the favor either. I analyzed my personality and that of my mother and realized we were quite similar when it came to accepting new ideas. Often, we used to approach things with preconceived notions in our mind. I knew both of us were more capable than that and were great people inside so I ventured on a new mission- to become more accepting and to help my mother become more open and nonjudgmental too. She is amazing and was amazing before too, but she was a little rigid in accepting different viewpoints and was judgmental of things that didn’t align with her beliefs. I had acquired that habit too.
So I talked to her about that conflict we had and told her I was deeply sorry for hurting her and that I’d be more open to different ideas from then forward. I didn’t ask her to do the same for me. One thing I have learned is that if you want to help someone improve in a certain area especially an adult and that too one who is older than you, it is always better to teach them by example instead of lecturing them about it. I knew if I had a whole talk about being nonjudgmental and more forgiving with my mother, she wouldn’t take it easily so I went the other way around.
Each day, I’d be more open with her and was kind with her. In a few weeks, we had happily moved passed our issue and I saw my mother becoming more accepting than me. Now, she is in such a happy state of mind that she is often encouraging me to become more forgiving towards others when I am rigid. I honestly love that woman. She is such an angel!
So by letting go of the pain, grudges and hurt inside of me and by being more forgiving and accepting towards my mother, I slowly mended our strained relationship and went from being a stressed daughter to a happy one who fell more in love with her mother.
This is only one example of how letting go of grudges and being more forgiving and accepting helped me live a better life. I have done the same with my husband and friends, and the results have only been good.
If you are going through a rough patch in your life with a loved one or with yourself, try letting go of the pain and being more forgiving towards that person or yourself if you are having an internal conflict. Whether you are mad at yourself for making a mistake or not doing anything like you wanted to or for not being the person you wish to or for any other reason, just open your heart for forgiveness, understand yourself and be more accepting. Often, we chase things we don’t really want and force ourselves to be like people we don’t really want to be like from within so understand whom you really want to be and be more accepting of that. That realization and the act of being more forgiving and open towards yourself will only improve your life.
Thank you for being here and taking out the time to read this. I am honestly blessed to have so much support here on Steemit.
Love and light,
Sharoon.
If you liked this, you may like other of my posts too.
https://steemit.com/christmas/@sharoonyasir/christmas-beautiful-for-many-hard-for-some
https://steemit.com/steemitbloggers/@sharoonyasir/why-do-we-make-our-life-so-difficult
I am a part of some amazing communities on Steemit that you should consider joining too.
@ecotrain which is full of amazing, inspirational content and people.
My daughter liked this one :-). Much love!
I am so glad she did. How old is she?
14 (if you can read this, i am having a 'little' argument) :-)
I am conscious also that I am very upset on my mother, but it is so deeply rooted inside myself, that I can not take it away. If I have to point it out where is the issue and where everything started, I can not do it. It is in the subconscious level. But one day, I would love to be able to pass through all this regrets grudges and upsets and just be true with herself. I tried on a rational level everything seems fine, but I think some family constellations or some deeper soul medicine could help in my case .
I really liked your article! I also believe we should forge the people that hurt us, not primary because they deserve it, but just because it makes our lives easier... It is a proof of love towards ourselves to forgive others.
Some wounds are just not easy to heal and yes you are right that at times it is because that issue is rooted deep inside you and occurs at a subconscious level. Maybe something happened when you were young and you cannot let go of it. Ponder on it every day and one day you'll get to the bottom of it. Thank you for your appreciation and for sharing your personal feelings here. It takes a lot of courage to do that and I applaud you for that.
Good post
Thank you :)
awesome inspiration...
Thank you so much :)
Very nice post @sharoonyasir, and very true, we hold on to too much, living in the present moment is so important.
Thank you so much! Your being here has definitely made me really happy:)
Yes I agree forgiving you should never look back and let go. This is one lesson I learned life would be easier and happier if we learn to let go of hate. Thank you for this
Yes, this is one lesson I have held close to my heart since quite some time now and resort to all the time whenever I feel upset. Thank you for the kind words :)
I like that you added this. because sometimes it can be difficult to forgive yourself for something. and end up in a never ending loop of regret. I enjoyed the read. very inspirational 👍
Oh yes, being mad at yourself for doing or saying something wrong is something I 100% relate to because I have gone through such times. Thank you for stopping by and this meaningful comment. Means so much :)