Arguments are best solved with love.

in #life7 years ago

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Every relationship has tension, but not all tension has to become a conflict. How we react to our partners when we feel like they've wronged us is just as important as whatever they did to us. It's not black and white. Just because you feel like they are wrong does not mean that you are right. Both can be true. In fact, accepting that you both have validity to your arguments and feelings is crucial. If I acknowledge that my husband's viewpoint is just as logical to him as mine is to me, I can step back and realize that we are both justified in our arguments. 


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I am not always right. In fact, in 99% of arguments I am just as wrong as I am right, but I respond as though I am right, without considering how my response to what I feel is wrong is actually wrong. How I respond to my husband is just as important as whatever he did to upset me. If I go silent or storm off to punish him, I am just as wrong. And we can't fix it as easily when I do that. If I feel wronged, the best thing I can do is talk to him about it calmly, expressing my feelings, instead of punishing him and expecting him to know how to fix it by himself, especially when he doesn't know that he's done anything wrong. 


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When arguments come up in your relationships (which they absolutely will, inevitably), it is your choice how you react; you are responsible just as much as your partner. You can say what you mean without being heated, you can voice your emotions and concerns without adding to the tension. You can do your part to not create conflict. Show love and put forth your best effort to understand that the other person feels just as wronged and justified in their argument as you do. There are two sides. 


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I have a long way to go to safely navigate arguments with my husband. I admit that my initial response is almost always flight or silence. Because, honestly, it's uncomfortable to work it out rationally and easily. It's easier to get upset, slam the door, go silent. But that kind of reaction doesn't solve anything whatsoever and it actually creates much more tension in the argument. 


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Every argument successfully managed with love strengthens the relationship. Showing love, no matter how you feel, will get you through it. Love does not keep record of wrong. Do your best in your response, forgive, let your love for each other be strengthened.


Blessings! 



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Thanks for the helpful reminders on healthy relationships

Thanks for commenting! :)

I have upvote and reestem Arguments are best solved with love. Nice

It is hard to not react in the first instance. It's a tightrope trying to get it right

I know! The impulse to react is so hard to resist, especially when emotions get involved. Relationships are constant learning experiences. :)

They are, I am awful for reacting! Getting better, by the time I retire I might have it down pat :0)

Let me know when you do so you can give me sage advice! :D

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