Kickin' It With 10 Newly Minted Chuck Norris Steem Facts

• If Chuck Norris became a Steem witness, blocks would be terrified to miss him.

• No Steemian has ever survived the pressure of being followed by Chuck Norris.

• If Chuck Norris used Steemium to find the best upvote at the time, it'd crash because Chuck Norris doesn't self-vote.

• If anyone flagged Chuck Norris using the free downvote pool, the real cost would be a roundhouse kick to their nose to spite their face.

• If Chuck Norris' ever made a blog post, it'd trend so fast that the Steem blockchain would virtually shatter.

• I wouldn't recommend trying, but Chuck Norris cannot be muted on Steemit.

• Hard fork consensus occurs if and only if Chuck Norris gives us a thumbs-up.

• If Chuck Norris ever replied to you with a ninja emoji, you'd immediately receive a roundhouse kick to the face.

• If Chuck Norris ever found out that @surfermarley quit Steem to work for EOS, his solitary tear would cause a massive tidal wave to wipe her out.

• If Steemit hired Chuck Norris for marketing......

It's been ages since I hammered out a list of these. Hope a few got a laugh or two so Chuck isn't disappointed.

Got any to add??

@steemmatt