Battles for Psychological Independence in the Living Area
When you're 21 you're eager to change reality, to work all nights long with a laptop on your knees developing some crazy projects and listening to Imagine Dragons, though there's a but: you live in a small flat sharing your room with a 10-year-old brother. F*ck.
The difference between my mindset and that of my parents is enormous: they can't put up with my falling asleep at 5 a.m. and waking up at noon. They call it laziness. My being inactive in the morning is called selfishness and the time I spend developing the website, submittimg posts and writing another chapter of my book is blamed for being my asylum from housework. Actually that difference in seeing the world causes a great number of problems, namely a fall in productivity and lack of motivation. There's nothing wrong about being different, still it is wrong to make the difference a problem.
The productivity fall is actually the greatest reason why I began to look for some kind of separate living area and the only way out seems to be renting a small flat. It's extremely difficult to be creative, hard-working and satisfied with what you do when you live under the burden of other people's interests and affairs; you have to curb your creativeness not to bar their activity as you live in a family. The battles for independence began when I entered university and began to work as a tutor though the money I earned was not enough for me to rent a room and to make both ends meet.
Thanks Steemit I have an opportunity to pay for the rental now. Actually independence is some kind of the best investment as it boosts your productivity and performance immediately and you kan live according to your own rules. We don't choose parents and relatives though we choose friends and our future husbands and wives. That's extremely important to choose people you feel comfortable with to build a strong family that will grant you with energy and inspiration rather than with negative emotions and stress.
*Scrolling the rental ads in the Internet*
Make good choices.
Yours,
Anastasia
I´m happy for you that you are now able to live independently and according to your own rules. Seize this time where no one except yourself can limit you in your productivity. This precious period of complete independency doesn´t last very long, usually.
Is it worth the price you have to pay for your independence? Just for not having discussions with your parents but having to take care for your whole daily life? I'm not sure... (but good luck and freedom to you ;-)
Is there anything in life greater than true independence? I don't think the right question to ask is at what price, but, rather, when it will happen.
Also, I don't think it is just "discussions". I believe it is a little more severe than that. For someone that has had to flee an incredibly damaging and abusive "family" situation, I can completely empathize. People that have damaged you can be so toxic that their mere presence can give you a panic attack. I speak from personal experience.
Oh sorry, you must have had a really bad experience on your own! I didn't want to spill out my comment globally !
Well, do you think that personal development's price can be measured by terms of money spent on rental and food? By no means. Living with people who follow another river's torrents, torrents of calendars, norms, safe zones and daily routine, for a person who is thirsty for boiling waters of the ocean of risks and chances is a torture in a way as you have to break yourself, to suppress your ambitions. Isn't that the worst kind of mental abuse?
I can feel your heat and your thirst - great !
Maybe I'm a little bit too experienced and some kind of dry... Sorry!
Keep on your way and do burning things!
Youth is about accepting challenges and building the basement for your future family relations. Now or never, you know. Thanks anyway
Independence is overrated you have to pay taxes when you no longer live with your parents.
I actually don't think so. Stefan Molyneux usually says something along the lines of "I'd rather have to pay 99% income tax than having to spend time with my mother", and I can't do anything other than agree. Taxes don't screw with your mind and entirety of your personality which is the foundation of who you are. They just rob you of money. If you don't have personal freedom within the realm of your relationships, freedom can't exist.
I run a small bed and breakfast and I cheat on my taxes so I can go to the local food bank to get food instead of paying for it. It really increases my margins. It also helps keep the food bank in business, I bet.
Yes, but the question is what effect parents have on an individual. For me, having them in my life would equal complete and total psychological slavery and 100% suppression of my personality and being, which is what makes me me. Compared to this, no tax is too expensive.
Of course, as an anarchist, I want to strive to achieve a stateless society. And that's basically what we're doing here with the help of crypto ;)
I read that kids don't develop emotions until they are ten. So I wouldn't be too concerned for the first 9 years.
Well we all had that, parent belonging to a previous generation therefore judging your activities based on what they know. They mean well, they just do not understand that what you are doing is as good as (if not better than) what they used to do when they were younger working on their future.
Moving out is part of growing up. Keep your focus on productive tasks you will do great
Are you of the opinion that one can mean well even if the same method used for over two decades hasn't worked even once? Also, if the same parents who behave in only this one way, which is very cruel and mean, behave in completely different ways with, for instance, a waiter at a restaurant, how do you explain the clear hypocrisy and the obvious lack of standard in regards to the child, as opposed to a complete stranger, which they are to treat quite well in comparison?
Why is it that "they mean well" when they treat their own kid - their own flesh and blood - like trash, but when it comes to complete strangers, they change their behavior according to infinitely greater standards? Doesn't this mean that they do NOT mean well? Isn't this the absolute definition of NOT meaning well, since the stranger means nothing to them, yet they treat them an infinite amount of times better than they treat the kin of their own bloodline?
@femmsanya I think you are over-reacting and not thinking things through.
First of all @steemingnow didn't say his parents are treating him like trash, at least he didn't explicitly say that. What I understand from his words is that his parents
It is a problem of his parents being ignorant of today's possibilities/opportunities that did not exist when they were young. They are worried their son is wasting his youth/time/days on activities that he may be indulging in for pleasure without good prospects for work/income
About your example, when his parents go to a restaurant and have to deal with, communicate with, chat with a waiter at a restaurant, of course they are not going to treat that waiter bad. Why on Earth would they do that? Why would they treat bad people they don't know... It would make no sense and they would get kicked out to start with.
The thing is that the waiter at the restaurant is not their son, they are just making conversation and trying to have a good meal in peace. Only someone crazy would go around treating other people bad. Based on what parameters would they even think it would be ok to treat the waiter bad, it really makes no sense.
Reality is that his parents do not care about the stranger, they do not care enough about the stranger to feel the need to criticise the stranger.
Their son is their flesh and blood and they want the best for him. In their ignorance they do not understand that their son is actually trying hard to do something productive.
They do not know how to deal with the situation and see the late mornings in bed as being lazy or they may think he is at the computer up to 5am to play videogames for what they know...
There is no hypocrisy from his parents. Chances are that they act like that because they are genuinely worried about their son future, the do not understand what he is up to, they do not know what to do... so they end up stressed, frustrated, make mistakes...