late nite blog: 12:47am. apples and orchards and now

I am tired. And grumpy. I am angry, in fact. But we'll not get into that. It has been a long week, a long day. It has been a very bad day, actually. Really bad. It is the kind of day where you want to fly away. Like Jenny in Forrest Gump.. when she would run away and pray.

Dear God,
make me a bird
so i can fly far
far, far away

I have fallen into some kind of new depression unlike my usual kind. There recently was a discussion about how much is too much to share on the blockchain, or your blog, or any site online.

My answer is that that's up to the author. If it's your blog, then that means YOU. You decide. If you want to give out your home address and tell people how many pairs of underwear you have in the glove compartment of your car, it's your own damned business.

Quite frankly, I wouldn't put panties in my glove compartment anyway, because .. well, I just don't want someone to be looking for a map or a pen or something and then see my underwear falling out onto them or maybe just suddenly noticing that they are there, crumpled up into a little pile next to my tire gauge and my pocket knife.

As for me and sharing.. screw it. If you don't like what I share, then leave. If you think I share too much, then feel free to tell me. I'll listen. Then I'll watch you walk away.

My late night mood.. is like this;

I am like a pocket knife.

I am the knife in your pocket that waits to come out and slice an apple for you as you stand in the middle of the orchard beneath the light of the full moon on a hot summer night. That is the kind of knife I am.

And I want so badly right now to stand in the middle of an apple orchard on a hot summer night.

I would be so happy. I want an apple now. It is nearly 1am. I will go probably not dream of apple orchards right now because of the fact that I want to dream about them so badly.

I am grateful for everything I have. I send that thought into the universe because it is important that even when you feel like pond scum, you remember that you are still damned lucky to be alive in a pond at all, even if you wish you would stop scraping the bottom of it sometime soon.

And so, I am very grateful, dear Universe. Thank you for this night.

I will remember it.

^{Photos ©2019paintingangels}