Bubble - a drabble short-story of 100 words EXACTLY

in #story-300words7 years ago (edited)

Bubble
by @nobyeni

The wind catches my skirt.
I notice you notice me.

Hello.
Hello.
Would you like to fly with me?
Okay.

I take your hand and start to run. "You're too heavy."
Your eyes twinkle in the sun.
Although you might think I'm crazy, you don't.
You don't know what to say.
I don't have anything to say, start laughing.
You look even more bewildered.
I let the wind catch my skirt again.
I am about to fly away, you take my hand.
I take your other hand and start to dance.

I love you.
I love you too.

blowing-bubbles-small-113406397_0.jpg

About this story
A drabble is a short story, often used in Science Fiction, of precisely 100 words. An interesting challenge, I thought. I once took a class on creative writing at the University of Graz (Austria), and the teacher gave the assignment to write a drabble for the next session. And he added: "Please don't write about love. Not again. I've read too much about love already! It's boring!" So, naturally, never having written anything about love before, I wrote this drabble, called bubble.

Happy to share it with the world for the first time on Steemit. Looking forward to your responses.
Have you ever written drabbles?

#story-300words

Image source

Sort:  

Yes I'm ready to fly with you and i am not heavy 😁

Ah, that's very nice of you.

I had never heard of a drabble. The best line was the first. It set up the tension.

I actually like the second line best, maybe because that introduces the flavor of the rest still to come, and also because it's so concise but easy to figure out what is happening. Ever since I've had that line in my head whenever I am in a public space and two eyes meet.... 'I notice you notice me'

Cute and very nice! I like the short lines and spaces for the smaller phrases. It's a very innocent sort of story--like two children who play after barely meeting. Very fresh.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.18
TRX 0.16
JST 0.029
BTC 75902.83
ETH 2895.60
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.58