Heavy Beary Beers!

I'm back baby!! I'm back!!!! And so too is the Saturday Beer Review!!

Two weeks, I have been gone. Two weeks! Trapped on an island in the Atlantic of the ocean. It sounds idyllic, it sounds lovely. All that sun and sand and general holiday niceness.

But the BEER was RUBBISH!!

Due to a combination of All-Inclusive free food and drink, pesky kids and remote location of our hotel, there was no opportunity for fine beer sampling. I am sure they have some, I mean, where doesn't have good beer?

So, there I was, trapped drinking a beer that went by the name of Tropical. It was the local beer. I won't go so far as to say it was rubbish.

It was WORSE than rubbish... It tasted like CAMEL PISS!

Incidentally, I rode a camel on holiday but I can categorically state, for the record that I did not drink from its suede fountain.

Definitely not.

I am so very happy to be back. Ridiculously so, despite the 2 degrees celcius temperatures and ice everywhere.

It feels like home.

But I have not been to see the Bear-Man?! And I do not have time to dive to his shop today. Horror. What is a man to do?

Well, fear not. A many-penised man such as myself is always prepared for such an event and luckily, I had a couple of stoaters on standby for just such a thing.

What are these beers I had for an emergency?

Well, if I can't have the Bear-Man then I can have the very next best thing. A Bear beer!! That's right, I have a beer named bear and another which is heavy. And both have spent some time idling in barrels...

Enough of all this hinting and tomfoolery.

Let us get onto the matter at hand...

The tasting.

A BEAR!! What a mighty looking thing, an Imperial Stout promising coffee and chocolate and mighty percents of alcohols at 10.5%!

Apparently it has one all manner of awards too. I am literally frothing at the gash to get my gums around these plums.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

What a big frothy head. It's like being pounded by the Atlantic surf again

And look!! Look! I see the blackness under it that resides in all men's souls! I sees it and I can't unsee it. Ha, of course, I can unsee it, I will just throw it down into the gaping emptiness that passes for my belly these days.

Seriously, it is a fine-looking beast. Very black, very bear. With a pleasing hint of muddy chocolate brown in the head and lurking on the side of the glass.

Will it make a bear of me? Heck knows I could do with some fierce animality after that holiday!

Let's go!

Damn, this one is hoaching with strong dark espresso and chocolate with a fine whisky toot under it all. Top donk! I am trying hard not to give it a ten just because I have been drinking slop for a week.

But the bitter chocolate, malts and coffee dancing with the Whisky on my tongue demand a ten boomer and I say... YES! 10/10 booms!!

Hoots for the WOOTS! It's good to be back and it's good to be drinking real beer!

Onward!

A heavy. A heavy that has been barrel-aged. Normally the barrel-aged jobs are Porters and Stouts. It will be interesting to see what this one is like. Fierce has always done a good barrel beer and hopefully, this will be no exception. 6 months in bourbon barrels!

It isn't as strong as the last one but it ain't always about strength. Did I really just say that?

Aha, a dank and toasty black like a leper that has leapt free from the cleansing fires! I look at it and hope that it doesn't taste of sweat.

Nothing should taste of sweat except sweat.

There, that is a life lesson to you all for free.

Now enough of the sweaty Betty talk. To the beer.

Well, that was a lovely beer, malty and sweetly caramel tasting emphasised by the Bourbon just packing that little extra oomph that would have propelled it to the top tier.

A very respectable 8/10 booms!

What a session! How good it is to be back in the beer saddle and steeming too.

I have greatly missed the Steem action and am looking forward to getting stuck back in.

And so I don't feel left out... wasn't it nice to see Steem have a little bump in value today!

Here is hoping that it is not a one-off event and that it keeps up. Imagine if it kept up to a decent level and I could afford an iron gunship to go and rain fire down on Lanzarote for the perfidy of their rubbish beer!!

Ha, a man can hope.

Cheers everyone!