My Steemit intro - When LOVE is wasted.. on a loved one who's wasted.

Hello Steemit community. Who am I, well, that's an ongoing journey of discovery, but here are some highlights.

My name is Sharon, I live in London, I am a mother, a friend, and a lover of wildlife, the ocean, and all creatures great and small. Professionally, I'm a self employed emotional wellbeing specialist, mind-body therapist, meridian energy practitioner and soul coach. Prior to running my own practice, my background was mental health services for young adults with complex emotional issues.

I volunteer some of my time and my skills teaching Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) at a refuge run by the NHS, supporting women recovering from drug/alcohol addiction or fleeing domestic emotional and physical trauma. I am a seeker of health and self-healing for all. I am very woo woo! coming from a spiritual family background. Some of my hobbies include being an advanced scuba diver, a cats foster volunteer, a film & box set fanatic and travelling the globe.

In addition to all the above, I am also a caring partner (sometimes only a friend) of someone battling a hardcore heroin and substance addiction. When I met Steve in 2007, he had already been using for 20 years of his life, which made him 17 when he first picked up. Add the last eleven years on and off, he has been a functioning addict for 31 years. As it happenes, he also turned out to be the love of my life.

Over the course of the eleven years we have been together, Steve hasn't always been using, and the journey for both of us has been one of tears and laughter, myself coping with the challenges of loving an addict, and the challenges for Steve, being an addict in love, trying to navigate his way around his love for me and his love for heroin. Even if he never picks up again, it's fair to say that as much as he loves me, heroin may always be his biggest love of all.

The past years have given me a profound understanding of the nature and meaning of addiction, and the pain that lies behind it. You may wonder why, given my profession, that I have not used my skills in order to Steve in his recovery.

Sad to say, but most therapists are unable to work directly with family, friends or loved ones due to the 'emotional attachment' getting in the way, plus I was studying for 5 years during this time in order to qualify in my chosen profession. Also, anyone struggling with substance abuse will be the first to tell you, no matter what you do, or how much help you offer, the choice to change needs to come from within and only comes about when a person feels ready to take that step. When they are ready, the recovery process takes a lot of orchestration.

Supporting a loved one with addiction is no easy task, and there is a fine line between supporting and enabling! something I myself have learned the hard way.

Steve and I - 2007. Little did I know I was on my way to learning how powerful addiction is, the lengths an addict will go to to get what they need, and what it can do to a loved one and all those around them.

Over the years, it became apparent that our relationship was somewhat unique, as noted one day by a community drug and alcohol worker who exclaimed that it was rare for an addict and a 'normal' person to end up together, or stay together. Just to put things into perspective, I am the polar opposite to Steve, tea total, non drinker, non smoker and non any other illicit substances ever! In my teens I was a total snob when it came to drugs and the 'kind of people' who took them, plus they have never appealed to me because the idea of not being in control of myself or my body scares the cr*p out of me! For Steve however, the idea of losing control is one of the many reasons he uses. In the past, we have been invited by community drug and alcohol services to share our experience, offering advice and support to groups of parents and carers of loved ones with addiction.

It has been our intention for sometime, to write about or video journal our chats together, not just for educational purposes, but also because of the positive benefits that we feel we will both get from doing it. So, when I discovered the Steemit community, it seemed like the perfect platform with which to begin. Writing a life time line, or openly sharing ones life journey, is often a key step in a persons recovery from addiction.

Both Steve and I hope that by being honest and open on Steemit, people may get whatever they need from listening, and that it helps and inspires anyone who feels they can relate to our story, either as a couple, or as individuals. Early on I affectionately took to calling Steve my 'junkie in shining armour' which has become my own personal term of endearment for him. It is by no means a generalised term used by Steve or myself when referring to anyone coping with substance addiction. I started saying it because when we met, I was dealing with my own emotional life challenges at the time, and this is exactly what he was to me when he came into my life. Just because a person has an addiction, does not mean they have nothing to offer or that they cannot make a positive difference to anyone else's life.

Many of us struggle to change old negative behaviour patterns, which ultimately have a negative impact in certain areas of our life. Steve was no different, it just happens that his behaviour pattern was addiction.

We hope to upload our first intro vlog on DTube shortly.

PS, addictive behaviour can cause a person to be inconsistent and sometimes unpredictable, so I will do my best to vlog or blog on my own if I have to. Wish us luck!

Love and light to you all,

Sharon and Steve xx